A
male
age
36-40,
*ozip
writes:i went out drinking last night and got 'extremely' drunk. i brought home a woman with the intention of having sex with her and a friend of hers and a another guy came back too. after a while, i disappeared upstairs to have sex with the girl, leaving the other two downstairs in the lounge unaccompanied. some of my flatmates were downstairs as well but in a different room. my other flatmate came back, a girl, with her friend, to find the guy and the girl in the lounge. she has told me it made her uncomfortable having people in the house she didnt know and so asked them to leave. but they wanted to wait for the girl i was upstairs with and the situation escalated. some of my flatmates came upstairs and asked me to come down because ineeded to sort something out, but didnt say what it was. i refused to come down immediately as i was having sex. after about 10 minutes i think, i came down to find the guy had left and the girl getting ready to leave, my flatmates still telling her to go. i saw both the girls i had brought back out. my flatmates, particularly the girl, were all upset about the whole situation but at the time i didnt see what was so wrong with what i had done. as a result i swore harshly at my girl flatmate, who i'm meant to be a good friend of, and went up to bed. my problem is, i still don't know what i really think about my behaviour. when i've spoken to people who think i've done little if not nothing wrong i side more with their point of view, whereas when i've spoken to my flatmates i agree more with them. who do you think is right?
View related questions:
drunk, flatmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (22 October 2007):
 I think the answer is simple, neither is right or wrong.
Hell you are young, everybody goes out and gets plastered, thats part of being young.
But its different these days (thankfully ) as friends are really concerned about letting single girls go off with strangers so they tend to accompany each other. That's a great thing I think, as everyone is safe.
The flip side to this of course is what happened with you, I cant blame your flatmates for protesting about the strange people in their house. For one, you dont know them, they could have stolen whatever they wanted or anything could happen.
What's the alternative? If you insisted that the girl came back by herself she rightly wouldve told you to go jump as her friends would be very suspicious, but then again her friends then impose themselves on the privacy of your housemates.
Its a classic paradox. Sorry there is no solution. Just try and get your flatmates to understand this. And maybe they can understand your situation.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Quiet often people who drink excessively will vent their aggravations out on the ones whom they are closest to. If you have a good friend and companion in your flatmate then I would advise you to make amends quickly. Try not to get so intoxicated the next time so you will maintain your behavour and not place hurt upon anyone. Remember the person you will be hurting most of all will be yourself as you could loose someone who is already a good part of your life. Don't throw that away just for the pleasure of a moment. Think about your flatmate's point of view as it is her place also. You were probably upset at being interrupted and didn't take the time to understand the real concept of her argument. Usually when something like this happens if you have been drinking heavily you will get more angry or aggressive and just blurt out whatever you think whether it's correct or not. It's at times like these you probably didn't care whom you hurt by your words or actions. Try taking your friend to lunch or something in a nice quiet place and have a nice friendly talk. Explain your position calmly. Allow her to also say what she feels about the situation. Make your apologies and then let it go. I hope this helps you to think things threw and that all can be worked out. God bless you both and may His Peace be with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (21 October 2007):
 I think you should not bring strangers back to your place and leave them alone in the place when you have flatmates. It would have been one thing to stay with all your guests but to leave two of them alone with access to the place was wrong. You did not know these people. I side with your female flatmate.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): personally i side with both arguments... yeah u should be free to have sex with anyone u like but also i think u should be a little more caring towards the feelings of your flatmates. if they do not want strangers coming back to their flat then at the end of the day its their decision and their rights but on the other hand its your flat too so why shouldn't you do wat u wanna do. maybe you should just talk to your flat mates about the situation and try and figure out a solution such as going to the girl/guys place to have sex... neway hope this helped
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): i am not an expert at this but this is what i think. your
behavior is a bit bad.what i think you should do is think about what you are doing before you do it, just run through all the things you will do at the party before you go.
...............................
|
