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I don't know what she's up to and she puts all the blame on me but I still want her

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2006)
A male , *rainedagain writes:

Me and this girl met just a few days before i had to leave the country. We spent my final 24 hours together but no intimacy involved. That was actually the first time we got to spend time alone. I called her the next day from my home country and she cried, telling me how much she feels for me and how badly she miss me. She realized it only after i left. Without hesitation i expressed to her my feelings too and she really appreciated it. Since then we started talking sweet on the phone everyday, tons of text messages were exchanged when one of us couldn't talk (e.g. at work).

I asked her to be my gf but she didn't accept my invitation coz she can't stand long distance relationship as I will only fly back in 4 weeks time. Thus, she promised she won't disappoint me, she'll take me as the only special one, and will wait for me to be back, and then see how things go.

All her text messages sent to me tasted sweet. Last Saturday night she told me she was going to a friend's bday party and since then she started to ignore my messages, let alone phone calls.

Something must be not right so I asked her if she has anything to tell me. She said she slept with my friend, and she's really sorry. I asked her why and she said she hates ppl questioning her.

Lemme give u some extra info, might be useful in your analysis:

-She ended a 15mo relationship with this guy late december. That guy has another gf of 10year. she didn't mind.

-She would usually talk to me when she was by herself, so she can flirt, she can be sweet, she can say whatever she wants to without anyone teasing her. but since she told me she slept with someone, her tone is totally different now. She kept asking me what i want, kept telling me what she don't like me to do, kept telling me to take it or leave it.

-I can hear a guy coughing in the background when i call her. She even brought her cat to his house.

-She got really drunk last Friday night and woke up with love bite on her neck, she said she can't remember anything.

-On sat night she went to party with the same ppl she drank on Friday. This time she took xtc.

-the reason she did all that is because i'm not her bf, so i can't control her.

-she was the one who initiated our relationship and now she just put all the blames on me, like i left her there, i cared too much, i questioned her .... bla bla bla

HELP!

p.s - i still want her.

View related questions: at work, drunk, flirt, long distance, teasing, text

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A male reader, drainedagain +, writes (19 January 2006):

drainedagain is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Update: after being totally cold to me for few days she is back with sweet messages, saying she misses me n she wish what didn't do what she did. And she can now take it as if nothing happened at all. I don't know what she's thinking at all. In fact I wish she could do again something really disgusting so I will wake up. I am sorry I'm not being strong. Emotional vs Rational .. it's not an easy one. Thank u guys for your answers, friends have been telling me the same thing. I hope i can get through this soon.

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A male reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 January 2006):

Mr.Ed agony auntI have to agree with anonymous below. Don't even think about giving this girl your heart. Dude, you deserve way (alot) better than someone telling you that their fooling around is none of your business. Hell yes it's your business if your going to sleep with that person. You don't want a desiese (especially sexual). Besides if she can't remember what happened on Friday then she didn't use protection. In addition if she thinks it's none of your business, then why tell you she slept with another person anyway. She's just trying to add another notch on her belt (you). If you do decide you want a relationship with her then answer this; "How could you ever trust her if you had to go away for 30 days again, ever?".

There are thousand of great women in the world probably a million. You my friend don't need another headache.

Good luck man

Ed

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006):

i would not even bother with this girl, she seems to be too much trouble, trust me even if you did hook up with this girl you will probably just get your heart broken anyway.

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