A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 14. We've been dating for about 2 months now and we had our first kiss about 2 weeks ago. I Love him and I think he's the perfect boyfriend. I just spent time with him yesterday and we made out for a couple hours. He tried to take my pants off but I wouldn't let him and he took my shirt and bra off and touched my chest. Thats all that happened but today he brought up the subject about sex. He asked me if I'd let him touch me below the waist, the next time we spend time together. I told him yes but I'm not too sure if I'm ready for him to even touch me there. But he told me he isn't pressuring me, doesn't care if I let him or not but I'm afraid if I say no, it'll ruin our relationship. But he said If im not ready, its fine. I just don't know if I should let him touch me below the waist, when he wants to. But I don't want to hurt him or anything. What should I do? Please help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): if he really likes you and cares about you he will understand. Do what you think is right!
your truly,
imaexpert
A
male
reader, Imaexpert  +, writes (25 April 2009):
so im a like 11 year old kid dating, i know you dont hear it every day but chill we dont have sex. now its just depening on what kind of guy he is, if hes the understanding guy say somthing im just not ready yet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to let everyone know, I did not and I'm not ready, for sex or anything just yet. I did talk to him about it, and he said he's fine with me not being ready to do anything like that just yet and he said he "loves me too much to ever be mad at me for saying no to something that I don't feel comfortable doing". :) But I did let him touch me below the waist and everythig, while we were making out, but he knows, and I know for sure, I'm not ready for anything like sex, just yet. But everyones answers helped me out a lot.
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A
female
reader, justjones09  +, writes (1 January 2009):
Hey,
I was in the exact position as well. Its really normal for you to have this fear. But hunni, your only 14. You have time to do whatever you want or dont want.
I agree with Emer. My boyfriend and i were in the movies and i had my legs across his lap. He was simply rubbing them (not suggestivly) but i could feel him getting hard under me.
So, i touched him below the waist first. This calmed me down alot, and i wasnt as scared when he asked me if he could do the same. But, Darlin do whatever you do for YOU. NOT for anyone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): hi im emer and im 17. iv been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now and i was in the very same position as you a couple of months ago. what i did wrong is i told my self that even if i didnt want him to do that i would let him do it anyway... i never told him how i felt......it was wrong but it worked and i really love doing things with him now. im not saying do what i did im saying do the opposite because ur still very young yet. so just tell him how you feel and if he cares for you he wont mind waiting til your ready.
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A
female
reader, Shonababes  +, writes (29 December 2008):
Hey there Hunni.
I am in the same situation as you. Am 2 years older than u n still havent let no one touch below the waist as it might ruin my current relationship. He has touched under my bra n tht but nt gone below my waist. You say your bf i 14 n wants to have sex, my boyfriend is 17 and he is still a virgin n he is glad he is. My advice to you is just tell him you will do it when your ready and you want to wait till your older before even thinking about sex,
Email me on how it goes hun.
Good luck .x.x.x.
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A
male
reader, Unknown boy age 15 +, writes (29 December 2008):
Hi
there
I agree with the rest, mainly because you have only been with him for 2 months.
When i was your age it took me 9 months just to make out with my girlfriend, thats comitment! if he truely loves you he will wait!
Tell him all of your feeling, tell him how you feel.
Tell him you afraid of saying no, but you dont want to say yes. Tell him you love him very much however you are taking it a little bit quick for your likeing.
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A
female
reader, littlemissalf123 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Whatever happened to being young, and being a kid. Okay so your 13, official teenager status. Do you seriously think your ready to handle the emotions that come from having sex with some 14 year old boy. Mind you it will hurt, and it will probably last at the most 3 minuets. Is it worth it? Is it worth it?
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 you hav to say "NO" .. Reasons :
(1) You're Young, infact just 13
(2) You are not ready
(3) At your age, a relationship must go on WITHOUT SEX to make sure it's not your hormones that is making you get attracted to someone. !!
My Advice..? Wait for 4 to 5 years Maximum.. Coz if u let his touch you down there, things would get out of crontrol soon.. and it would lead to SEX which is "illegal" and "Painful" at this age..
G'day
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A
female
reader, LibraRomantic +, writes (29 December 2008):
 hi. I'm Hannah i'm 17. I know how it is to feel pressured to say yes so that nothing gets messed up. Honey your virginity is a one time thing. you need to be really careful on giving it up. I didn't lose mine until i was almost 16 years old. Becareful. You don't want to regret it later. If you are scared tell him you would like to wait. If he really cares he will understand okay. Don't be afraid. you can do it
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A
female
reader, Msblessed +, writes (29 December 2008):
 You should just say no if your not ready. Don't worry about ruining the relationship because if he cares about you and likes you then he won't mind.
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (29 December 2008):
 If you dont want him to, just say NO.
It might seem hard but you need to stand up for yourself.
Only let things go as far as you feel comfortable. He is going through puberty and sex will be on his mind alot. So dont let him preassure you into doing anything you dont want to do.
Just look him in the eye and say you are not ready for that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): You should've said it wasn't okay to get that physical.If you don't want him touching you down there,or anywhere sexually,then tell him.He said it was OK.And plus,you've only been dating for two months.There's plenty of time to get physical,and that time is not now.If you have sex now,I'm sure you'll regret it because sex should be with someone you love,and I'm pretty sure you're not in love.Years later,when you find that special someone,you're gonna wish you saved yourself for him.So don't have sex yet
and tell your boyfriend that you're not comfortable with him touching you down there.Hope I helped.xxxx
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