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I don't know how to break my engagement to my parents!

Tagged as: Age differences, Family, Long distance, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 25 and I have been dating a 42 year old man for almost 1 year. I live in a different state then my family and none of them have met him yet. He is the sweetest guy I have ever dated, he is respectful, caring and I love him. He asked me to marry him a few weeks ago and I said yes! I now need to tell my family. I'm not sure how they will take it. He is closer in age to my parents then me. Should I tell them alone or with him with me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009):

Could you take him to meet them and see how they get on with him? Unless the marriage date is set soon you could leave it a while before telling them about it? Or if they take to him straight away, say 'That's good, I'm really happy you like him, because we are getting married.'

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A female reader, Joyfull United States +, writes (2 May 2009):

You must speak first to your parents about his age. Let them know how sweet and caring your fiancee is. Let them know that you are in love. If you take the time to do that, your parents will feel better about meeting your beau. Good luck cause I did not have any with my husband. He was 14 years older than me. He left me with 4 kids. God Bless!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

I think you should tell your parents alone and if they want to meet him then you two go along next time. you know your parents better then he does, you go along first so if your mother is acting up, he wouldn't be embarrassed and take it from there.

I am happy for you. My boyfriend is 62 and I'm 22 and I am loving him and my relationship. I am happy and there is nothing like being happy... and my happiness means the world to me. We are happy and it's a blessing. Everyone needs happiness and you find it thank God, and the laws of attraction.

(MOD NOTE TO ANSWERER: In future please write in LOWER case or your answer will not be approved.)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

Congratulations! Try not to make this age gap the primary focus, here. The age gap should not be a problem, here...especially if this man makes you gloriously happy. And that is what most parents want for their adult kids. Take him home, let him meet the folks. It gives a clear message to them, you are proud of wgho he is and don't even mention the age gap unless it comes up. But yes, he is the man you are to marry, that must be respected, and he must share in the this hopefully, very happy occasion.

Good luck

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (1 May 2009):

jessica04 agony auntBring him along. If you act ashamed or embarrassed then they will react in such a manner. If you act like you are head over heels for a man that treats you well and who loves you, then they will react in a more supportive way.

Every parent just wants to see that their child is happy. Show them that you are.

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (1 May 2009):

malvern agony auntI would speak to your parents first and tell them about his age while he's not with you. They could feel quite upset when they see him and not be able to handle the situation if you just introduced him without fore warning them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

Bring him with you, definitely! Did he give you a ring? You could always just wear it and let your parents know that way first, and then after theyve met him, officially announce it to them. That way they will know whats coming! :)

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A male reader, MyWife,MyLife Canada +, writes (1 May 2009):

I faced a similar situation in that my fiancee was 14 years younger than I.

I went to her parents and asked them if it was acceptable for me to marry their daughter. Initially they didn't say no and after getting to know me wre very accepting of our relationship.

Ultimately, it's up to the two of you. Love is what it is regardless of age.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

Heyy! I think you should definately take him to meet ur parents so they can see exactly what hes like and hopefully they wont focus on the age gap but on what a sweet person he is. Let them get to know him a little bit before you anounce the engagement, depending on how well the introducations go as to whether you tell your parents with him or on your own. If they really like him, go for it and tell them together if they see the age gap as a problem then i would tell him alone as if your parents arent happy about it, it may embarass ur future husband! If he makes you happy thats all your parents should be worried about, good luck & ...

Congratulations!!! x

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 May 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntDefinitely bring him along so they can meet him and see how well he treats you and how much you two love each other. They may be disturbed about the age difference but perhaps they can get passed that once they see how wonderful he is. Let us know how it goes.

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