A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to follow up on my original post. I posted on here recently saying that i met a guy in a bar, and he has said that he would meet up with me three times, to go out drinking, but then things have come up. The first time he cancelled, he said his friend had let him down, so he wasn't going out, and also said that he didn't have much money. The second time, he said he had football the next day, so he wanted to stay sober. And last time, he said he was going out at first, and that his friend was going too, but then a few hours later, he said his money hadn't gone into his account, so he couldn't go out, and he apologised and said he had to let his friend down too. I don't know if he is telling the truth about having no money or not, as i'm not sure if he has a job. He was at university recently, and he has two kids by two different women, so i know he will have to pay money towards them too. I don't want to criticise him for having two kids by two different women though until i know the full story. What i would like to know is do you think i should make some suggestions to him about other things we could do, that don't cost a lot of money, such as going to the cinema, going for lunch, e.t.c, or should i wait and see if he suggests anything like that ?. I can actually get us into the cinema free on Wednesdays, as my mobile phone network is Orange, so i can get Orange Wednesdays. The only thing is, i don't know if i would feel comfortable with the cinema being the first date, as you can't talk much in a cinema, and i might feel nervous being sat in a dark room with him, especially when i hardly know him, lol. I guess we could have a meal together either before or after the cinema though and have a chat then . A couple of days ago, he wrote on his status on facebook that he was going for a pub lunch with his mum and aunty, so i'm wondering whether to send him a message saying that we could do that sometime if he wants to .I don't want to seem pushy though. I'm not sure, but he might just assume that i only want to go out drinking, since we met in a bar. We haven't spoken much on facebook or by text messages on our phones, so we don't really know much about each other yet. It was him who asked me if he could add me on facebook, so he will know some things about me by looking on there. I'm wondering if he might be nervous about meeting me too, and that might be why he has backed out of it before ?.Do you think i should make some suggestions to him, and maybe ask him more about his interests on facebook or by texting him, or should i just leave it ?.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011): He's made a lot of excuses about why he can't hang out with you. You barely know him. Why should you believe him?
As Red Athena said, this man has two children with two different women. Does that really make him a quality person, someone you really want to date?
I think it's best if you look for men at places other than bars or pubs.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Do you always want to be the one who foots the bill and has to settle for less EVERYTIME.
If I recall your original post, lots of people gave you advice that he is not that into you. If he was interested, he would be taking initiative and coming up with his own low cost dates. He would want to impress you the best way he could.
He has AVOIDED that dear. Take note. Leave it alone.
LET IT GO. Date someone who has their life more put together!
Why you do not want to JUDGE his status of having two children from two different Mothers...that is NOT a very good sign of a responsible person.
Best Wishes.
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