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My long distance boyfriend worries about me too much

Tagged as: Health, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 16-17, anonymous writes:


Me and my bf, who is a year older than me, have been going out for one month now - not really a long time but still - and from the way things look, we both really like and care for each other.

During the early days of our relationship, his family and he had to move to a different continent, so now we don't get to see each other.

We text every day, mostly with gaps in the conversations due to the time difference, and recently, and I know it's going great.

Recently, he's been getting to know about my personal issues... he knows I've got anxiety, depression, and insomnia (Of which I am getting help, so pls dw about that) and is constantly telling me to "Cheer up" or "get some sleep", even though I've made it clear that it's really hard to do so...

As much as I love his caring words... they are getting too much and it's gone to the point where he is checking up on me in school, texting my best friend to check up on me and asking my cousin to keep an eye on me.

Should I tell him that he shouldn't worry or should I leave him be? Even my friend is worried as he's admitted to not being able to sleep until he knows I'm asleep...

I feel really bad because, recently, I've been so busy with exams and stuff that I have to sneak my phone to text him during class, and what's worse is that he stays up until past 4 am (He is three hours ahead of me) waiting for me to talk to him - despite the fact that he has school as well.

Although I love it that he is willing to do so many things for me, despite the distance, it makes me feel bad that he's always so tired but still choosing to put me first...

what should I do? I've tried telling him directly but he said to leave it and laughed it off...

View related questions: best friend, cousin, long distance, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2017):

Sorry babe but it's not going to work . Never does .

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (16 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou're prioritising this relationship and that's not okay.

You shouldn't sneak your phone into class; that's a boyfriend/girlfriend free zone to learn.

You also shouldn't text him past 10pm your time, so you're not staring at a screen before trying to sleep or anxiously waiting for him to reply.

Tell him to back off - nicely, obviously. He doesn't mean to, but he's spying and being controlling by texting your friends to watch you for him.

I think you're both moving way too fast because he's not mature enough to be with someone if he'll avoid sleeping until he knows they are. You also need to be mature enough not to text in class or late at night.

I think you need to let this relationship go, as you're both young and will have no way of visiting each other regularly or closing the distance over the next couple of years, leaving you both in a fantasy relationship with someone who is not "real" (as in, in your life properly).

I'm in an LDR, so I do understand, but you both need to be more mature in the way you're handling it. I also know how hard an LDR is, which is why I think it's best to understand it won't work out because of the distance and break up before you both get too attached.

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