A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i cheated on my boyfriend, whom i have been going out with for 2 months. With someone that i kissed about a year ago, it was totally out of the blue and i really regret it now. Should i tell him or not ...?!
View related questions:
cheated on my boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): No the realationship is to early
A
male
reader, Hopeless6682  +, writes (28 July 2008):
If you decide to not tell him you had better take it to your grave. Otherwise you are just postponing the problem, and one that only can get worse over time.
right now after 2 months your still new to each other, my advice is to tell him. Truth is better now than truth later.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): I definitely think you should tell him.Just because it was two months ago does not give you reason,or excuse to cover
it up.He's your boyfriend,and you two have a relationship,
you need to talk and tell him everything that's been going on.He's been good to you,he deserves the truth and you would want the same thing,wouldn't you?It would be better
than him finding out on his own and never trusting you again.Although,it could go like that with this situation.
But tell him.The LEAST you can do is be honest with your man.It may end your relationship or cause tension,but you'd
be glad that you told him.You might regret it that you
didn't tell him or know that you did him wrong and he did
you right and he never knew the truth.Wish you the best.xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): The time you cheat on him, that is the moment you don't love him. He deserves the truth. 2 months is short but love can't be measured by time.
I know by telling him, you will risk losing him. It is just a kiss, if he loves you, he will forgive you.
Say things happened in the other way round. Do you think you deserve the truth?
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (28 July 2008):
 so you kissed and nothing else...leave it. you have only been going out for 2 months after all!!! as long as you know you made a mistake and regret it then i dont see any reason to hurt the guy you wanna be with. some may not agree with this advice but i dont see why you should hurt him if you arent planning on doing it again. and 2 months is a VERY short time!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): Not on this occasion and it was such a long time ago, it would only stir up trouble, if it ever came up just say it was that unimportant that it was never worth mentioning. If you make a big deal out of it he will think there was more. Sometimes a little white porkie is okay and it is to protect his feelings, so this one i would forget yourself and stop feeling guilty you are been to hard on yourself.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 Just a kiss? If it was just a kiss and you stopped it, then you didn't cheat on him. Not very nice but not something to get overly worked up about at your age.
It was you that ended the kiss right and stopped it from going any further?
...............................
A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 This is probably controversial advice, but here goes. You only kissed this other boy? Okay. Don't tell your boyfriend. It's not something important, and it will only hurt him. You have to deal with your own guilt here, that way you won't do it again. And don't do it ever again, if you love your guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (27 July 2008):
 If you really love your boyfriend and see this relationship going on for a long time then the right thing would be to lay all your cards on the table and tell him what happened. Its better than continuing the relationship with skeletons in the cupboard, living a lie. By confessing you ultimately risk losing him, but you would have dealt with the situation with maturity knowing that at the end of the day you did the right thing. Of course you must do what you feel is right, some people can be unfaithful again and again and not get eaten up by conscience. Im guessing you are not one of these people otherwise you would not have been writing this post, so tell him the truth.
All the best x
...............................
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 I don't think NOT telling him is really an option. Assuming the two of you have agreed on an exclusive relationship, if you plan to stay with him, you've pretty much got to tell him.
But if things like that "just happen" so easily for you, I'd want to take a look at whether you are really ready for a committed relationship in the first place. Might you not be happier on your own, where you can accept such things as they come along, without the guilt associated with cheating on someone who is counting on your fidelity?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbtw i only kissed this other boy. ;/
...............................
A
male
reader, CGL0527  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 You should tell him. If you don't and he finds out from someone else, it's just gonna get worse for you. Wether he accepts it or not, you'll just have to deal with it. you brought this upon yourself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni only kissed this other boy, nothing else.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): Don't tell him !! Nothing good can from you telling him you cheated on him. If you tell him and he ends up staying with you, which he very likely might not do, but if he does your relationship as you now know it will still change. All trust and respect for you goes out the window. He'll throw it in your face everytime you have a fight. Everytime you go anywhere with out him you'll have to deal with questions and his speculation. I think that what you need to do is ask your self why you cheated on him. Is it because your unhappy in your relationship and want out. You cheated on him for a reason, whatever it may be. And now is a good time to ask yourself if you love your boyfriend and truely want to be with him. If you do then don't tell him and just make sure this kind of thing never happens again. If you want out then get out, leave him but I say still don't tell him. Cause telling him is about making yourself feel better. It will just hurt him. He's better off not knowing. In my book You were the one who cheated so your the one who should have to live with knowing it, not him. Telling him might make you think you'll feel better but it won't not really
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): This is tough.Did you sleep with this other guy, or just kiss him again? If you slept with him maybe you could call it off and tell him you’re not ready to be in a relationship or maybe tell him that you need a break just to sort things out (maybe just a month). Then, when you get back together with him, you can tell him and he won’t be as upset because you took responsibility for your actions and showed him that you care about him. He won’t be suspicious in the future because he’ll know that you’ll own up to it.
However, if you didn’t sleep with this other guy, I would just let it slide. Don’t tell him. He’ll start getting jealous unnecessarily if you’ve already made the commitment not to do it again. A lot of women have a hard time cutting off old ties in the early part of a new relationship. The relationship is a little too vulnerable at this stage, and some might think people don’t make an instant commitment to be faithful.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (27 July 2008):
If you don't tell him and he never finds out, you got to keep the lie for as long as you life.
If you don't tell him and he finds out, then you are not just a cheat but a liar as well. From that point on anything you say will be suspect.
If you tell him, you are a cheat in his eyes and will have to deal with his reaction.
Choose wisely, at least more wisely then sleeping with someone else.
...............................
|
