A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok this may take a while ..lolI was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on what to do- normally I would be good at this kind of thing but I feel lost on this one.Me and my best friend have been hanging out 5 years now- I feel a big connection with him recently and I can tell him ANYTHING and he would never judge me (he is just so down to earth)But this Summer we have been hanging out more with each other.. and a few times when we were out we ended up kissing each other (Now i feel things have become a bit weird in our friendship-(maybe its just me being paranoid) I think about him all the time and I want to tell him how I feel but I am worried he doesn't feel the same- I have cried many nights over this and I don't know what to do! I don't think he has any idea how I am feeling.. I also may add that he is bi -but this does not matter to me as I do honestly believe he is attracted to men and women (and it is about trust after all!)
View related questions:
best friend, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rose_red  +, writes (27 July 2008):
yeah, I am not sure I am ready to tell him how I feel, part of me is really scared.
I do believe he is bisexual..but he fancies guys more (god..the whole thing is very confusing)
But i do know I have never felt such a connection with anyone before.. we just get along really well and he has the exact sense of humour as me too which makes it even better :)
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 Long term a friendship between men and women who are attracted to each other will be a threat to your future relationships, so it was going to be time limited anyways.
Instead of making a declaration of love, why not just continue to hand out with him, and let things happen naturally and see where it goes. If the two of you end up in a relationship, chances are it is going to happen, as you have both come this far together.
What I would suggest though is that you really understand what it means to be dating a bisexual person. It is different from dating a straight person. Are you expecting some sort of monogamy? It may or may not be possible for him, and it has nothing to do with how much you trust him.
As I see it, your "friendship" was over the moment your feelings for him came into play. Time to refine what you are, and to see if you can be more than friends with benefits, or an actual relationship.
I did some interviews on bisexuality on my radio show, and you can download them for free at www.fbkradio.com
-Frank B Kermit
www.fbkradio.com
...............................
A
female
reader, rose_red +, writes (27 July 2008):
I meant to add when we are out..sometimes he won't look at me and quickly say hello, then other time he comes over and hugs me and puts his arm around me..its just so confusing so maybe talking to him is the best thing
...............................
A
female
reader, rose_red +, writes (27 July 2008):
yeah I don't think I can go much longer avoiding this.
And If I did tell him how I felt it might not be as bad as it seems. I just have no idea how to say it as we normally meet at the weekends and he does be quite drunk most of the time .lol!
another problem is my mum is against me going out with a bisexual guy. she thinks I will end up really hurt later in life, but she doesn't realise how strong my feelings are for him- I have not felt this way about a guy since my last relationship over 3 years ago.. x
...............................
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 If you're seriously kissing each other, not just little "friendship kisses", then chances are he's feeling something there too.
You're probably going to have to accept the fact that the two of you have crossed the line from "just friends" to something deeper. Changing friendship into a more serious relationship is like scrambling an egg. Once you've done it, you really can't undo it.
If you're serious about this guy (and it seems you are) sooner or later you should discuss your feelings with him. Yes, it's a risk. All relationships involve some element of risk. If you really want him, you're going to have to give up and let go and just finally go for it. (OK, so those are song lyrics I stole, but I think they are appropriate in this case.) You're already crying from the loneliness and uncertainty of your situation. I think you would do best to confront your fears and talk to this guy about your feelings. See if he feels the same way. Who knows where you night go from there?
...............................
|
