A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i were together 6 months. I had issues with not getting enough affection/attention and could take criticism well so tried to actively work on this. He had issues always needing to be right whether it was a trivial matter or not. This lead us to always argue. We had split up twice before through him ending it as we were too different with conflicting temperaments. I felt crushed as after several relationship with other had always been the unhappy one who finished it.Two weeks ago we had an argument when out with friends, i decided to carry on drinking and ending up sleeping with my ex boyfriend who had never really let me go. As soon as i woke up i felt ashamed and within 12 hours had told my boyfriend i cheated. He was very angry more so atill about the petty argument but the cheating was the cherry on top. After dismissing me and not asking any question as to who or what i haven't contacted him out of respect.He has now text me asking who it was with and what did i do. I haven't replied but telling him will only make hate me more and cause him more pain. I don't see what good this can do. Also, since us splitting i have seen and heard friends and families opinions of the relationship and it seems this was just the last nail in the coffin to them all really. What should i do?
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (5 June 2012):
 First of all you should not tell him in a text! You have to have this conversation in person. But you could just say you were pretty loaded and don't remember much at all and leave it at that. If he presses for more, just say you passed out and then woke up the next day after it was over. Don't give him a bunch of details it will drive him nuts and he will throw it in your face over and over again when he gets mad about anything in the future. Frankly I don't think he'll ever trust you again no matter how vague you make it but it may soften the blow not to hear too many facts. You have to take a good look at why you did this. Were you being just a little passive-agressive because of the fight? It's a slippery slope when you sleep with someone just to make a point or to "show him" how revenge works. My advise is not to do that ever again. It will usually back fire.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): I believe you should tell him who it was with but not so many details on what you did..But no one really ask questions that they do not want to know the answers to and if he is asking he really needs to know. He maybe trying to find closure or he may wants to get back together. He will hurt if you tell him or not. It is only right to tell him honey. You should probably talk to him and also make sure he is really okay. Maybe he will respect your honesty..I hope all goes well. Be careful with your alcohol intake also so you can avoid situation like this in the future.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Nope. You're split up. You're done with him. Do not reply.
As for you, I would almost bet anything that you'll go against advice and reply anyways, making your love life even messier than it is. You should have been done with your ex, not sneaking around and sleeping with him.
You do not mess up a relationship, even one on hard times, by bringing a third party into it, especially an ex. If your relationship was not going well with your boyfriend, you should have cut him loose for good and ended it.
Instead, there's all this back and forth drama with an ex thrown in. Keep your life ordered when men are concerned. No cheating. No exes. No drama.
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A
female
reader, Rainbow111 +, writes (4 June 2012):
Well i think if he was your boyfriend at the time he has every right to know what had happened.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 June 2012):
 There is no need to tell him and there is no need to get back with him.
6 months and you broke up twice....
always arguing...
conflicting temperaments...
better to let this die a natural death...
just tell him it's not working out and you two need to go your own ways.
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