A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im very physically and mentally attracted to my boyfriend, but when we had sex i NEVER orgasm, i only orgasm when he fingers me, when we have sex it lasts awhile, long enough to where i should have "gotten off" but i dont even though the sensation is there that im about to, but i dont, and i know he blames himself for not making me climax during intercourse we've probably had sex more than 25x already and i wonder if its something hes doing wrong or is it me?
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female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (20 January 2012):
 It is neither his fault, nor yours - some women are highly sensitive and climax very easily, while others are the complete opposite. Try not to put too much pressure on having to climax every time and it might make it less of an issue - try introducing new positions or toys or even ideas. Trust that it will happen one day and relax. Communication goes a long way - and so does a little help! :)
Good luck!
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Nothing is wrong with you. It's actually closer to 25%, and even that number is of women who have EVER had an orgasm from penetration alone, not who can regularly do so. Many women can't even orgasm from being fingered, so you are ahead of the curve. Your vagina is not a pleasure organ, at most it's an erogenous zone. Except in very rare cases, women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Even when women have orgasms from penetration, it's because they had clitoral stimulation in an indirect way or the clitoris is able to be stimulated from inside.
If you're close during intercourse, you should have him add in his hands or you add in your own hands (girl on top, spooning, and doggie all give easy access) and use that to push yourself over. Even just having him put a finger or two on top of his pubic bone during girl on top can be enough for some people. Not because he can move them, but just as an extra surface to "use."
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 January 2012):
 around 30% of women orgasm from penetration the rest do not.
some women do not orgasm at all ever. my partner cannot bring me to orgasm at all. no matter what he does....
there is nothing wrong with YOU or your partner
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (19 January 2012):
 From your description there is no mechanical problem. If the sensation is there then he must be hitting the right spots. It is said that an orgasm takes place between your ears mot between your legs. For some reason you are not allowing yourself to go. The more times you miss the more anxiety builds up and the less able you will be to perform. Most likely you just need to relax. Work on the romantic connection.
Some people will tell you to try different positions or angles, or that most wome4n can't orgasm during penetrative sex. If you are getting to the edge regularly that is not likely the advice you need. Also if you finger yourself regularly, you may have conditioned your sexual response to prefer that stimulation. You can recondition your response.
Interestingly, Being able to hold of your orgasm is considered a sexual skill for men. We need to hold off to make sure our partner gets there before we deflate. if you are waiting for him, be a bit more selfish. synchronized orgasms are nice but they are the exception, not the rule.
I hope I have given you enough information, and not too much information.
FA
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A
female
reader, blueflower +, writes (19 January 2012):
try to be more active during sex
try to move ur body ,to rock ur pelvis ,move in rythm with him
kiss with passion during sex like u can`t get enough of him
ask him to tell u romantic words (dirty one if love dirty talk)
orgasm is a mental thing , u need to feel very turned on by the guy to have orgasm
you can try clitoral stimulation during sex too
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (19 January 2012):
Believe me when I say that this is no one's "fault." Its simply unique to your own biology, what you enjoy, what you're sensitive to, and the mood of the situation. Dozens of things can come into play during sex that can affect whether or not you orgasm. None of it is your fault. None of it is his fault.
The situation is simply one that takes some work to identify. The best solution at this time is to talk with your boyfriend about it, especially during. Give him signs if something feels good or is uncomfortable and work towards finding a way to get the most pleasure out of it. He'll never know unless you tell him :) Good luck.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Because your clitoris is located outside of your body, not inside, and his penis isn't stimulating your clitoris during intercourse.
See, the reason why your clitoris is so sexually sensitive is because the penis and the clitoris are made up of the same exact tissue and nerves in the fetus before it forms secondary sexual characteristics (I.E. Genitals) as it develops in it's mother's womb. This is why most women can ONLY reach orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation and why men expecting women to reach orgasm any other way would be like us expecting them to reach orgasm without touching their penis in any way. I.E. Nearly Impossible.
Some women CAN reach orgasm through just vaginal penetration, but most cannot.
You're perfectly normal, in fact, you're like MOST other women on the planet.
Use your own hand to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse. You'll probably be able to reach orgasm that way, with practice.
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