A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have never had an orgasm. Is this normal? I have tried everything. Tried pleasing my self in many different ways, Ive tried different positions with my boyfriend. He even suggested role play and nothing works. Foreplay never works either. It's really embarassing. I feel like im missing out because I have never experienced one before. What does it feel like?? How would I know if I was having one? I also have problems getting wet down there. So now I am using lube. But it's so embarassing. Most people only have to kiss and their wet enough to stick it in. My boyfriend thinks he's not pleasing enough because of this. But it's the same with anyone ive been with. Whats wrong with me please help!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Ask your doctor about it then. Irregular menstruation could be a symptom of hormonal imbalance/lack of estrogen or something else, which could very likely be the cause for why you don't get wet, and could also affect your orgasms/lack of orgasms. Just start off telling your doctor about your irregular periods, and that you can't get wet, and that you have never been able to have an orgasm, and ask if there is a connection, and if it could be a cause for concern that your period is that irregular.
In many cases there is medical help to get for whatever causes the irregular menstruation, and with some luck your sex life will change as well once you get some help from your doctor.
See it's not the period itself that is a problem, but the period could be a symptom of a problem.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, Thanks for replying. Ive tried the shower, watching porn toys etc. nothing works. ive also tried the breathing as I looked it up before. As for menstruation I have never had a regular period. They just come and go randomly.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 December 2010):
People are different, some just are this way. If it's turning into a problem ask your doctor about it, there could be underlying reasons (low hormone levels etc). How's your menstruation, is it regular?
Assuming your body is healthy and fine though, some just have difficulties getting orgasms. But it has a lot to do with self control, mentality, and stimulation is a small part of this. In tantric sex you can even breathe yourself to an orgasm, without any stimulation other than your own breath and movement of your body. Read up on that. Other simple breathing tricks are to breathe faster, deep, moan, and a steady breath. My ex taught me this, and was coaching me while he was down there "breathe deeper, don't forget to breathe!" Hahah! It sounds so funny when you think of it, but try it. It works.
Next: have you tried toys? Shower? Vibrators? I needed time to get used to my vibrator, so don't expect an explosion first time around. Do you watch porn? What do you think about when your boyfriend goes down on you? Think of things that are hot and makes you crazy with lust, or watch a porn you enjoy while getting stimulation.
As for knowing when you've had an orgasm.. you'll know it. If you're unsure you haven't had one. Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl  +, writes (5 December 2010):
try name calling, ask him to call you bad names it usually helps and some kind of stimulatory response.
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