A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I am going thru a really bad breakup. I was in a relationship for 3 years and it ended about 4 months now. I have try everything to get her back, i even told her i wanted to be her friend just to have her close and work on my strategy to get her back, but the true is that being her "friend" was to painful, she would never try to reach me, i was the one calling, texting, she would tell me she call me back and days went by with no call.. i mean to many broken promises as a friend, to be honest she is a really shiity friend or maybe i expected to much from her. I am now going out with a good friend, she is nothing like my ex, but she cares for me, she loves spending time with me, we think very similar, and we have great sex. Thanks to her i dont cry over my ex anymore...Though i still think about my ex all the time , even when i make love to her, i know is just a matter of time, and these fellings will fade out.My problem is that I DO want my ex back, but every time i try something it does not work and then i get in pain. I have stop contact with my ex ever since i started to got out with my friend (about 3 weeks now). Last week i got so needy and depressed that i actually cancel my cell phone service just to avoid calling my ex or she calling me. I am actually thinking of deleting her from face book and myspace, but im afraid i will be sorry later.She is now texting my over face book asking was wrong with my phone, and her last message said, "It make her sad that she wanted to talk to me and she canr" i haven't replied yet, she is sad couse she cant talk to me and im dying couse i cant have her. I really love her and i want her back. but i know is self destroying since its very clear that she only wants me as a friend. I really dont know what to do, if i write back or call her im gonna be on pain couse i know the outcome. ( she wants to know about my life, catch up, tell me about her new great job/career, about her new apartment, and her great new life, then we are gonna hang up and i will be sad and crying for days while she will be happy couse at least we are "friends") Now in the other side if i keep on ignoring her im afraid that im burning the bridge and then there will be no way of her coming back if that ever happens....I think im a great catch, im good looking, fun, confident and a great kisser. I just dont know what to do here... I cant to be her friend i want more or i just rather have nothing and just move on. I might be able to be her friend, but i need at least 2 years to move on. I dont know what to reply to that message. Thanks for your opinions and suggestions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): Thank you..... You are right this new person might not be her but she cares for me and i just cant do that to her, even though she said she wont care... One day she said that, she also said that she doesnt believe in love and that she didnt want anything serious; however her actions are completely different.
AS i write this, my ex is trying to chat with me on facebook, my friend is by my side, im feeling very bad. Im playing very cool on the chat, but i cant do this anymore, im feeling very sad, i cant let her affect me anymore. She broke up with me, she wanted this... She took her decision and i cant be her friend anymore. I waited, i asked, i tried, i cared. I dont want to cry anymore, i dont want to feel like shit anymore..
A
female
reader, canttoleratebs +, writes (9 August 2010):
I'm really sorry that you're going through this however, you have to think about what your saying. Please realize what you are doing, yes everyone wants and deserves to be happy. But, you have included someone else into your drama filled life. You stated that you have started seeing a friend and you all have lots of fun and do great things together, do you even care about how she would fill if you ran back to the ex (if she decided to take you back)? Does she have any say in the matter? You know that the ex only wants to be your friend and if thats to painful for you then you should cut all ties. Your putting yourself through alot of unnecessary pain. Something to remember is: Dont ask for more than your willing to give. Meaning, you want her at any cost but, consider the person you brought into your mess. GOOD LUCK!
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A
female
reader, Practical  +, writes (9 August 2010):
since u have tried contacting her and it didn't work .. then try the opposite: avoiding her totally ..
have fun with your new "friend".. if she can make u stop crying while thinking about your ex.. then she's the perfect rebound for u .. it has been 4 months .. I guess it's time to move on..
Plus, I think the bridge was burnt down long time ago, since your ex started ignoring your calls ..
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