A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I would really appreciate some help I feel like my boyfriend of 3 years is becoming someone I don't know.I love him so much and couldn't really imagine life without him but I keep finding little things that make me feel unwanted; I found on his youtube history the other day him watching videos of half naked girls doing dances etc also found a pornsite in his history which instantly directed it to meeting up with woman in the area to have secret sex but after doing some googling some things said it is a fake website and a spam thing but I dont no for sure.Also the youtube history was watched a while ago so could of been before we met but I can't help think the worst please can someone help.
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2015): Thankyou for all your answers, its made me realise I proberly need to kus chill out about it BUT saying that, I dont umderstand why I cant get the youtube vid out of my head its more the fact thst they looked about 15 and it doesent seem right to me. It could of been that he wayched it when he was that age so fair enough or he could of just accidently clickrd it etc so why am I over thinking it so much? Any help would be appreciated.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2015): Do not worry we blokes can just use porn as a simple starting tool lol
so it is more than likely normal and in regards to the hook ups , like people have said they spam them like mad on porn sites ... there's always a horny girl about 3 miles away lol
And youtubes vid are not much ... pretty normal for most blokes tbf
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2015): Her Arggy seems to have the answer to all women's problems . Perhaps he would feel differently if porn consistently of predominately unattractive women having sex with perfect bodies men whilst his partners masturbated over them ... Must be nice being a man who has the answers go women's issues
...............................
A
male
reader, arrgy  +, writes (5 January 2015):
You nailed it right on the head, and most WOMEN don't understand that men are looking at porn because they want to see a strong confident woman. You are not a strong confident woman at all, you need to change that.
If you are insecure about your body, then change your body and change your confidence. And don't let anyone tell you that you can't change, you can.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): Well as for the YouTube video, it's still something I wouldn't place too much concern on. Its probably something he may have watched with a buddy.
My dude friends would come over my house and watch the weirdest crassest stuff. Right in front of us girls. I think the most memorable one was a video called "cake farts." It's about a naked girl who sits on a chocolate cake and passes wind on it.
That YouTube video you describe, sounds about right. "Guy stuff." He was probably laughing when he watched. Stuff like that often is male amusement and nothing more.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): Thanks for the replys, I feel abit better about the porn now as I do feel its just spam etc. The one thing I cant get iut my mind is on his youtube history with the girls doing dances etc 1 video was of 2 about 15 yr old girls id say of them doing contornation & streching legs etx im only hoping this was on his youtube account from along time ago when he was a young teenager etc as I feel it wouldnt be normal or am I just bei.g crazy? Soery for all the questions, id just rather talk to people on here before jumping to conclusions & having an argument with him about it all . Thanks
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 January 2015):
 Based on what you write, I don't think he's changed at all. More just you getting to know him better and discovering his porn habits. That add directing you to women in your area to have sex with IS spam. That's such a common spam thing you find on porn sites and the likes that I am surprised you don't know this. But I guess you're one of those who never frequent such sites? Well, don't be alarmed. Just because the add is on the site doesn't mean he went to that site because of that add. If he was hooking up with women you'd be finding a whole lot more evidence than a mere commercial/spam link.
May I also add, that such spam links that promise women do in fact not provide any women. Just nasty viruses on your computer, and asking for your e-mail so they can send you loads of spam on penis enlargement.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): Thanks for the replys, I still feel like I need to get it offy xhest so he knows im not comfortable with it, other than this our tationship is great, im not the most confident person & hate my body so I just feel really insecyre knowing he may look at things like this. I no im 100% wrong for looking at the history but im genuinly nosy & since ive found the videos of girls doing dances etc I cant get it out of my head
...............................
A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (5 January 2015):
You shouldn't worry about these things. As long as he is good to you and your relationship is going fine
N i would strongly suggest you stop looking through his stuff.. It only results in some times igniting a fire where there is absolutely nothing. It means unnecessary stress for you.
Apart from everything you need to trust him, afterall you have been together for a couple of years now. Unless he is showing signs of disinterest in you, you have nothing to worry about.
Respect each other's privacy. How would you like if he went through your stuff n dint like what he saw?
And don't start freaking out if there are subtle changes in him. Everyone changes over time. Unless it is reflecting upon your relationship, give him his space and you enjoy yours.
Good luck and don't trouble yourself too much
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): We dont really spend anytime apart though,only when he is at work. Im tnot ok with him doing those sought of things I think its disrespectful to me and like he doesent want me :/ but I cant teally bring it up because thr youtube stuff I think could of been a long time ago just dont no for sure :/
...............................
A
female
reader, celia_a +, writes (5 January 2015):
 He's likely been watching porn since he was a teenager and his usage of it is truly not a reflection on you whatsoever.
A few years back, I felt extremely betrayed when I found out that my husband was watching porn. I was very heartbroken and depressed. I then watched some myself and with him and realized that it's just something done for the fun of it. It does not mean anything about you, or your relationship.
Also, those pop ups are typically spam. Besides his porn watching, has he said, or done anything to arouse suspicion that it's not just random pop ups?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): What you describe doesn't seem too alarming. The sex meetup thing is usually a pop up. In fact it comes up even in non porn sites. Everytime my boyfriend and I go on sites to stream movies, those same ones pop up. I've noticed on my boyfriend's computer weird stuff too. Men think about sex all day long. They spend about 40 hours a week away from you and at work. On the weekends when you go shopping or meet your mom for lunch, he spends alone time. Just cause you are not there does not mean he is not thinking about sex. Their minds always wander toward sex. So when they are alone, and sex pops into their head, they may view a sexy video or check out some porn. It happens. As long as your sex life is good and he is good to you, I wouldn't worry.
...............................
|
