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I can't give girlfriend a vaginal orgasm and it upsets me!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 January 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2015)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi, my girlfriend of 8 months has had 15 previous 'lovers' compared to my 2, and she slipped up to day when we were talking about orgasms, she said she has had a vaginal orgasm but not with me, i can make her orgasm through the clitoris no problem but not through the vagina, there has been times when she has gotten really aroused and ejaculated herself but is that a vaginal orgasm, or did she just get super wet? also does it have somthing to do with my penis size? i know im not the biggest she has ever had, i love her to bits, and if i was to sum up our sex life, id say i do pretty much all the graft, i initiate sex (we have plenty of sex, im not complaining) and i allways go down on her even if we dont actually have sex, i want to be the best she has ever had and give her as much pleasure as possible to make it all about her, but i just cant seem to give her a vaginal orgasm through penetration, and for her to say shes had one not with me offended me a bit because i want to be that person... so is there any tips on how to give one or and insight i should know about the vagina, also does my penis size matter? thank you very much if you answer

View related questions: clitoris, ejaculate, my penis, orgasm, penis size, sex life, vagina

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 January 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntTECHNICALLY ALL orgasms are clitoral. it's just that the rubbing internally of the vaginal walls stimulates the clitoris.

she's orgasmic with you. that's all that matters.

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A female reader, anonem United States +, writes (26 January 2015):

anonem agony auntFirst of all, current research shows there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Orgasm can only be achieved through the stimulation of the clitoris. I would suggest you try different positions and see which ever arouses your partner. Goodluck

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 January 2015):

chigirl agony auntThis is such a luxury problem. You can make her orgasm by clitoral stimulation? Congratulations, you're a part of the 10% of human male population that can do that..!

Who needs vaginal orgasm? That thing is so rare and unheard of that Im beginning to think it's only an urban legend. I for sure never had one, neither have any of my friends. So do go thinking this is actually something normal. If your gf has had one, then that's lucky for HER, she's probably built in such a manner that she's able to have them. It has nothing to do with you, Im afraid. And, it's got little to do with your penis size either.

If it upset you, I think you should tell her that. Don't tell her you feel second best, or not good enough, or worry about your penis size etc. Just tell her that it upset you to hear such details about her past sex life, and while you respect that she's got a past, you'd rather not hear the details because they will upset you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 January 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIt can come down to something as simple as position or the "angle of the dangle". And BEAR in mind that MOST that is 80+% of women do NOT orgasm from penetration ALONE.

Your penis is NOT a magic wand (sorry to be the one to inform you of that) so insertion alone isn't going to do much, considering there are 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris (compared to you 400 in the penis) - The internal walls of the vagina itself do not have a great supply of nerve endings, thus are not very sensitive to touch. The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel. BUT the INSIDE is NOTHING compared to the "outside" (aka clitoris) when it comes to nerve ending and thus... pleasure.

STOP being so focused on her past partners and what you think your penis should be able to do. Find ways to PLEASE each other. And PLEASE stop stressing yourself AND her by thinking that ONLY vaginal orgasms feels good.

Size only matter WHEN the guy makes a BIG deal out of the size.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (26 January 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntSo how many orgasms have you had through stimulation of your balls alone, with no stimulation of your penis?

.

.

I'm serious, please tell us how many times that has happened for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015):

You've only been with your girlfriend 8 months and you're already complaining about your sex-life?

Is she complaining, or is she just bragging about her past?

First of all; whatever people tell you about their previous sex-life before you entered the picture, could be purely fictitious. You want to be with a woman more experienced? Then deal with it.

For whatever reason, it was insensitive and crass for her to bring this up. Comparing present lovers to your exes reflects badly on the jerk telling the story.

Man-up! Think in a mature way, and just let it be your motivation to be the best lover YOU CAN BE. Everyone is different, and has their own technique. You don't know if she's lying her ass off.

You'll be a greyhound chasing a mechanical-rabbit trying to be the best lover she ever had. She could always raise the bar, and you may never meet it.

Learn more about the female anatomy and read-up on vaginal-stimulation techniques. Not in stupid porn-mags. I mean publications by accredited authors with degrees in medicine and human physiology. Orgasms are not just physical, they're also mental. You can even ask any gynecologist. Try not to let-on you still think like an adolescent. Women like playing with your head, they'll test your boyish-gullibility.

If you can't make her orgasm and you couldn't tell the difference anyway; she'll have fun just emasculating you whenever you have a fight or disagreement. Don't freakout or feel inferior. Just be cool. You may have been with only two, but they may have had qualities or moves you like better than hers. That's life.

If your relationship means anything on any other level; base all your effort on how you make her feel about YOU, not just your dick! She'll tell the next guy how great you were, when there isn't anyone around to backup or deny her story.

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