A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i need an advice regarding a bad situation between my bf and i. we are together for 2 years. in february he was in a car accident and needed some financial help to cover the expenses. i didnt have any cash at that moment but my $1000.00 credit card which he used with that purposes. in that moment he told me that he will pay me back once he receive his income tax return. the time passed and never gave me a penny. so i was aware of the time and i knew when he got a direct deposit with the money. i didnt say a word expecting he will do it. last week i brought the subject and i asked him if he has the money to pay this credit card, he didnt say yes or not and got furious at him and i told him do no play with me, you were not shy to asked me for a thousand dollards but you are not a man enough to pay it back when you said it. he then told me, listen, i got that money in february and because it was valentines day i made that surprise for you, remember? so i was like what??? for valentines day he bought me red roses, teddy bears, cakes with my name, candles all over the place and pair of earrings, according to him he paid $450 for this 14K gold earring that i honestly doubt. (i say this because in the package i can see like an small label with a mark and the price on it, but when i look the back of the box it seems like the box is actually from a different piece of jewelry not actually those earrings at all)I was so sad and mad and i started to cry and i told him how come now you are telling that you spent your income tax return on my valentines day!! so what does it means? that i am paying for my own gift?? i told him i dont need those "gold" earrings, you can have it and resale it. I told him you just used me when you needed me now you are giving me stupid excuses I am sorry I dont understand this. then he got all upset at me saying that i am a very ungrateful and a bad heart woman! and that i am the reason for all the bad things that happens to him!! it was last wednesday and thursday he was supposed to work at 10 am, well he then called at 10 15 saying the he just got fired because his tardiness..i couldnt believe it! then he started to blame me again! he kept saying you see all is your fault, you just brought bad luck and unhappiness to my life, i dont need you and i need to live my life alone, you are a cold heart woman..!!! i couldn believe what he was saying. I did call him today and asked how he was doing, he just said, i am not ok and i want to be alone, dont call me more. i just cant believe why he blame me after all what i did to help him when he needed it? i am feeling so sad, why? why he makes me feel like it was my fault? i know it was not my fault but why i have this stupid feeling like i should to apologize? why? i feel so idiot right now. i dont know what should i do? do i am wrong saying what i said to him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2016): I did tell him to return those earrings and he denied. And he didn't take it earthier.. I still have it. I just don't talk to him at all. And now that he has no job.... Should I just wait?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2016): I did tell him to return those earrings and he denied. And he didn't take it earthier.. I still have it. I just don't talk to him at all. And now that he has not job.... Should I just wait?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 March 2016):
 My god is this guy for real? How on earth have you put up with him for so long? Look, ask for your money back and just dump him immediately. Just demand for what is your right, ask him to return the so-called expensive earrings and make sure he pays you back.
If he doesn't, then consider the $1000 as money spent to get rid of a douchebag. Just make sure this ass is out of your life for good and don't ever lend money to anyone, in the future. Neither borrow nor lend. Remember this always.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 March 2016):
 Good lord! Why do you put up with this dude?
First of all, yell him - I want my $1,000 back and I want then back asap.
YOU didn't ask for over the top Valentine's present.
You SHOULD have said when you loaned him the money, I want the money back when you get your tax return. And you should have put it to paper with a signature. EVEN if he is your BF. You left it up to HIM to decide IF he was going t o pay you pay, how he was going to pay you back.
THIS is who he is. Doesn't care about going to work on time (like THAT is your fault? Seriously?!)
I doubt that you made him LATE all the time. But it is easier to BLAME you than take responsibility, isn't it?
I'd tell him you need to pay me back. It's not up for discussion.
And if he refuses, dump his bum.
And IF he does pay, dump him AFTER he pays you back.
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