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I broke up with him too many times and now he doesn't want anything to do with me! What should I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 June 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *tzy.21 writes:

hello, im 15 and i've been in a relationship for 1 and 3 almost 4 months with my boyfriend. i broke up so many times with him and it seems like he doesnt love me the same anymore and i've realized i did a huge mistake. he treated me so nicely. our love was crazy now everything seems to be braking apart. i feel like he doesnt care about my feelings as much anymore and it really hurts me because i still love him and his been my first serious relationship and i've been his. and we"ve done everything together.. and well he doesnt treat me the same i ask him if he still loves me he says yes ofcourse and i know he doesnt really care about my feelings anymore.. and we would be on the fone for hours now everytime were on the phone his sleepy its like his not into me anymore.. should i let hime go i already tlked 2 him a million times, i've cried to him and written him letters sended him text msgs showing him how much i love him and yet he doesn't treat me how he used too or change? i cry every night cuz i want him to change. and he says he still loves me and all but i just dont feel it anymore. WHAT SHOULD I DO HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!..

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (23 June 2011):

RedAthena agony auntSweetie, they call it a break up because it is BROKEN.

Some things can not be saved. Learn from your experience, that is part of growing up and you will become wiser with each relationship, because you will be MORE CAREFUL with your hearts.

Best Wishes.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2011):

N91 agony auntYou've kinda brought this upon yourself, you can't expect a guy to keep chasing you after you break his heart so many times.

Maybe he's found a girl who is going to treat him right the first time - Talk to him, ask him what you need to do to show him how much you love him, the ball is in your court now, you NEED to make this up to him as you're the one who has made the huge mistake.

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011):

I'm with the other posters plus I'll add if you don't change your behavior you're gonna wake up one day and find him pussywhipped in love with a gal you cant compete with. He's showing all the red flags for welcoming a sweetheart of a gal.

Time for you to do major damaged repair if ya dont want a good gal to snatch him from underneath ya.

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A female reader, chocoholicforever United States +, writes (23 June 2011):

you've hurt him many times by repeatedly breaking up with him. Breaking up with someone, then taking them back, then breaking up with them again, then taking them back again...this is yanking them around and it's very hurtful. It's incredibly confusing to him to be essentially told that one day you love him the next day you don't. what is he supposed to think? Eventually his heart will harden to protect itself from your hurting him. That' why he's no longer into you. Another reason he's not longer into you is because he may think that your repeated breaking up is proof that you don't really love him after all.

I think you should give him some space and not pressure him. Let him decide if and when he wants to get back with you. if he doesn't want to get back together, then you should respect his feelings since you've already hurt him so much, and move on.

instead of being focused on how you want him to change, you should instead focus on changing yourself - try to see things from his perspective and understanding what he wants and what he needs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011):

You are very young to be in a very serious relationship dear. You shouldn't be experiencing for now. But tell you what it will all pass away as time goes. I have a very long time bf as well you have been acting same as your bf. Everyday I used to cry since he i wanted him to change but now I ignored whatever coldness he shows me. I have also messed up before and I don't even remember how many times I broke up with him but we are still together unfortunately it's not the same way as it is before. I did regret I played with his feelings in the past so instead of nagging him or wanting him to change I just let him do what he wants and in time he needs me I'll just be there for him and if he decides to leave me then I should let him go. I don't want to hold him no more it will only make things worse for both of us....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011):

You broke up with him so many times and with every instance you hurt him and shaved away a layer of his desire for you. You're not going to want to hear this but he probably does love you but you damaged his attraction and thrill for you. You sucked his rambunctious desire for you right out of him. If you want the old guy back you put him on a pedestal and treat him like a king the way he did you. You changed him so fix him. Prove yourself to him. Why should he put himself out on the limb for you again when you have a history of breaking it off with him over and over? I feel bad for the guy. Stop toyingwith his emotions and heart. How would you feel if it was him hurting you over and over again? It's not right by any means. Put him before yourself for a change.

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