A
male
age
51-59,
*achelor2
writes:a little complicated... been away 11 years, finally moved back 2 years ago... back to friends i've known almost 20 years...met "M" 2 months ago who's ex to one of my friends, she was helping me look for work, she's also been back about 2 years... i know about their bad breakup 5 years ago, my friend was almost suicidal... and she left because of the breakup too...twist of fate... i fell for her and me being an insensitive dork asked him for his permission/blessings after a week of seeing her...he flipped... i was given a choice of my 20 year friendship or someone i just met and fell in love with...i chose 20 year friendship over love and i am heartbroken... if i ask him again for his blessings it'd be as good as adding salt to wound... i might as well forget this friendship...i can move on but we are in love still...
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fell in love, heartbroken, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): If his relationship is over, he no longer has any claim over who the ex dates dates. His problem, not yours.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 April 2007):
 Go to your friend and tell him that your decision has left you heartbroken. If he is truly a friend he wouldn't want you to be miserable. If he still doesn't want to you to be with the girl you love then let him stew in his own juices. You don't need a friendship like that anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): That's unfortunate for you to have a 'friend' whom dicates your choice in love interest - EVEN if it is his ex. I understand how he could probably feel, but he is too selfish and not too friendly, at least, not like how a brother should/would treat his brother, if at all your friendship to him is any where like that.
As much as this is supposedly complicated to you, the choice is very simple and you already answered it yourself - you chose your friend, you can move on, but you're still very much in love. In short, you just told us that you made your choice already. If you're asking us how you can make your friend give his blessings, well, maybe time and soothing will make him rethink his controlling demands. However, that's all you really can do, if you don't want to lose his friendship.
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