A
female
age
30-35,
*racey
writes:I really fancy a guy, I haven't seen him in a few weeks so i texted him. He hasn't replied and I think he may be on holiday. But his friends tol me he liked me.The thing is he is a bit of a nerd... and it would destroy my reputation a bit to go out with him, which sounds really harsh =(. The thing is i do want to go out with him just to have him not tell many people, which he would probably do because he is so sweet.Is this a really mean thing to ask?
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male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (18 July 2008):
 No is the simple answer. If you have a chance to be happy with this boy then dont cover it up.
At school I understand that reputation is a big thing (wasn't too many years ago I was at school) but its only a short term thing. Once you get into senior years it means nearly nothing, then once u leave it means nothing at all to anyone. Its just a disguise to cover up insecurities.
A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Oh dear God, you're 13-15, like your reputation is that big of a deal!
Save this boy some heartbreak and don't date him at all, wouldn't want to taint your reputation, now would you?
When you like someone, you should be proud to be a in relationship with them, not hiding it from people just because he's this "nerdy guy." How you would like it if he was so ashamed of you and so worried about his reputation that he kept you a secret?
One word: Karma. What goes around, comes around and if you do this, I guarantee years from now, it's gonna come back and bite you in the butt.
If you really like him, what other people think shouldn't be a concern, YOU are the one dating him. NOT THEM. You'll never be happy if you're trying to do what you think everybody else expects of you.
Take Care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): woow..honestly this is very mean,there is no such thing as a perfect guy..and its mean that u want to go out wit him but still keep ur reputation? i guess i understand wat u mean but come one..just ask him out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Yes,it is so mean!You want to go out with him,yet you find
him destroying your reputation.You find him good enough to date yourself,so obviously,you are ashamed of him because
of what other people might think.That's low.So many people
only think about themselves.You should be proud of him,and
if other people think differently,then so what?He would be
yours,not theirs,they could think whatever they want,yet u
would know that you have a great boyfriend,no matter what
ANYONE says.That's the way you should act and feel.Good
thing he's a "nerd",as you say.He might be desperate,but he
will be smart enough to know that you're not worth being
with,knowing that you feel that way,and will know that it's
better to be alone than to be with someone who worries what
other people think about you being with him.
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A
female
reader, mellons +, writes (18 July 2008):
Girl,
This is really mean. What is your problem? if you like this fellow go ahead and be proud to be with him because as far as studies have proved, it is always the nurdy blokes who turn out to be clever and sometimes great inventors of some of the great technological tools that you use today. For example the mobile phone, satellite t.v. ipod, etc., etc.,
These so called nurds are potentially good providers and are always thriving to progress further and further in life. They are usually good listeners and show better understanding to the needs of others.
Go for it and let everyone know that you are special because he chose you instead of one of the loud mouth girls.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Yes, it is extremely mean and selfish.
Please don't do this. A somewhat similar event happened to me, only I was the nerdy guy. It was not fun. If you think highly enough of him to have feelings for him, chances are that he is not all that unpleasant a person, and there is no reason to be ashamed of him.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 It is pretty mean, and very silly. Stop for a second and imagine if the tables were turned. How would you feel if the guy you were dating didn't want to tell people about it because he was ashamed of you and worried about something as fleeting as a reputation?
Remember that reputations change often, especially at your age. Stop caring about what people might think, else you'll spend your whole life trying to please everyone. And you can never please everyone.
What does it matter if your 'reputation' is destroyed? Would you rather have a reputation as - 'the girl who dates nerds', or as 'the girl who is too wrapped up in her own reputation to go for the guy she really likes'?
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A
female
reader, dreamer24  +, writes (18 July 2008):
You don't need to even try to be with anyone that u can't accept to let many people know about. He deserves better than that. He could be the love of ur life n ur letting ut all go because of how he looks. Looks aren't everything people have feelings and u should consider that. If you can't accept him and u can't be seen with him let it go so he can find someone who appreciates him this will make u the better person or in the end the one with the broken heart. Be with him altogether or don't be with him at all
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): You shouldn't date a guy you would not feel proud about going out with. You will hurt him in the long run!
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