A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im feeling really down at the minute and i think it may be because of my relationship. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and im only 19 so i know anything can happen and there are plenty of more fish in the sea etc but i dont want to leave him, i just want to make our relationship better.i dont feel very appriciated, i never get treated or recieve any like gifts or anything (im not materialistic i just think a bunch of flowers once in a while wouldn't go a miss) and i feel like more of the man in the relationship than him. i have tried to bring this up before but then he just started crying and saying 'dont leave me' making me feel like the bad one and then having to appologise for brining it up.i really love him but just feel like i need to be treated more like a respected girlfriend rather than just someone random in his life.all of this has made me to start to develop a crush on someone else too. i really dont think that i would cheat as i would be disgusted with myself and i know this other guy is interested in me but not in a relationship so it would really only be a silly one night stand which isn't worth throwing my relationship away for, but i am just scared that if my boyfriend doesn't start to take notice of me i will just be consantly unhappy and go off with someone else.how can i talk to him about my feelings (without making him cry), make ths a better relationship and stop my crush! i know it is a lot but please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I have also been with my boyfriend almost 2 years, and am 19 as well. He used to buy me flowers before but he doesn't anymore. We were engaged, he bought me a ring and then took it away. After that he gave it back to me on my birthday and took it away again after some time. And he has not given it back to me since January... Which makes me wonder if he really still wants to marry me...even after he told me today he doesn't want to. I wonder if he means it.Anyways, I don't feel appreciated either and my love for him is so strong that I don't think I could possible fall out of love any time soon nor crush on someone else. I know you are not materialistic, neither am I. But it would be nice to get roses wouldn't it? =(Have you told him about your other crush? If you haven't, you should tell him. Telling him about you being scared that if he doesn't start to take notice of you then you will be constantly unhappy and go off with someone else might also help. Do not aggravate the situation. Just speak to him calmly. My best suggestion would be to write it in a letter and leaving the room to where he can read it alone. That way his emotions are more in control. You can also give it to him as you're leaving to work, a friends, etc and give him a kiss, telling him you love him. SO that he has time to be alone and he will need some space and thinking time... =)Good luck my friend!!
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