A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all; I am lost and turn to you again for advice. To make a long story short we've been together a little over a year. I'm 3yrs older and have 2 kids from a previous abusive marriage that ruined my self esteem and left me completly insecure. He was your typical player. He cheated on me once before at the beggining of the relationship and it almost killed me. Since then he has changed alot. I adore him and i know he loves me.. or at least needs me and depends on me. He has always had a habit of hiding his phone from sight and keeping it on 'silent' whenever we're together although i never once tried to snoop on it. When i casually asked about that, he said there was nothing to it and kept it in plain view from then on. Yesterday we were in a restaurant and i texted him from the bathroom. He didn't react at all and when i asked him if he had gotten my message he said that his phone was 'offline' (ie that although 'on' it doesn't receive any incoming communication). Why is he doing that? Do you think he is hiding smthg from me? I am plagued by suspicions but afraid to ask him lest i breach the trust if he is innocent. Furthermore, after months of being intimate he decided he doesn't want to have sex again until we're married. I don't know if i should like that or hate it?!
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cheated on me, insecure, player, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (19 May 2007):
 As a guy, I can tell you that most guys DESPISE talking on the phone. Even texting is annoyance to most guys that I know. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have felt awkward if you would have texted me from somewhere only a few feet away... He might have been a little freaked out by that. When a guy says that his phone is "off", he generally just doesn't want to answer, regardless of who it is. Don't take it personally.
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