A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I would like to have your advice on this situation and please don’t judge me if possible. Well, you will agree with me that we have little control over our feelings. At my place of work, there is a man who really turns me on. I have a crush on him and it’s been a long time since I did not feel this way for a man. I fantasise a lot on him. He has noticed me too and maybe he’s attracted too. The problem is that he is married. I tried to put aside these feelings but every time I see him, these feelings come back. To be honest with you, I’m very attracted to him and would like to have sex with him as I really can’t enjoy sex at all if I have no attraction. I know many of you would get angry at reading this but that’s how I feel. On one hand I want to tell him and on the other hand I want to forget him. With time I do hope these feelings will go away. So I would like your advice on what I should do. Your help is much appreciated.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Really, do nothing. Married man & a colleague - there is no way that ends well for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): He is taken. Please go find someone else. I hate it when other women tries and take other womens men!! Sheeesh! Get a Life and leave him alone.!!
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a crush. Hell, at the moment I have about 3 crushes, and all of them are men who are either married or in a relationship.
But the key is to not beat yourself up over it. Generally you can't control who you're attracted to, but you can control your actions. As long as you don't take it too far I don't see the problem with having this crush.
I would suggest something like trying to focus your attention on someone more available, but I know more than anyone that it's really hard to stop being attracted to someone. You just can't do that, crushes usually fade, but they just don't stop completely. So I say enjoy the crush, enjoy fantasising about him, but don't take it too far and end up in bed with him. Then you'll really be in a situation...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): Hi yes go meet people hang out with friends. Avoid him at all if you can phone,text messages all that try not to at all. If people talks about him or so try avoiding the subject. And go do something. I understand you like him, but on the other hand you should think about his wife you know . Put ureself in her shoes. you wont be happy if you knew. And if you are / were work friends or still are end it by not phoning or texting him at all. In that way you are not rude. Please try not to ruin theire marriage over some sex as you have said. Please leave him alone at all!! If you were married would you cheat on your husband? Think of it that way... Please i hope you do understand what im trying to say... It will not be good at all of you will tell him or try to do something.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2010):
You need to focus on your life, get out there and meet new people. If he started an affair with you, chances are it would only be for sex and you'd end up hurt. Look at your life, and go out and meet people, start a new hobby that takes you mind off him. Don't even think about an affair with him though, as if it goes wrong you'll end up hurt and possible out of a job with nothing.
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