A
male
age
30-35,
*onky tonk
writes:i've recently got my first ever girlfriend of my life and i am damn happy 'bout it.but the thing is, whatever we talk about, romantic or private, just ANYTHINNG.... she goes on and shares it with her roommates.its not that they spread gossip or something..... in fact they help her out in strengthening our relationship... but still a little privacy is always welcome.how can i get rid of this habbit of hers without making her feel bad??? i just cant ask her point blank to stop it...please help me. i feel like i am dating a newspaper.
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male
reader, honky tonk +, writes (9 December 2009):
honky tonk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everybody........ your suggestions helped.its d first time for both of us....... so it seems that she just did not know where the line should have been drawn.now she does.now we are one happy couple again. thanks.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): We all talk to our friends about things that need sorting.... could be his mom, could be something he said, could be a new gift, could be not being to orgasm, or shaving.
What we don't do is come and tell all to the boyfriend so the next time he meets the girl he feels uncomfortable. Lay down the law that she should not do this back and forth discussion and that it makes you uncomfortable. Or tell her, "Do I ever come and tell you that my friends and I were discussing our girlfriends' nipple sizes?" Something like that will help her get the point
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Your girlfriend is immature for her age. This is the type of behavior girls do when they're 14. What this tells me is that your girlfriend cannot think on her own. She needs "a crowd" to help her think, decide and feel. Maybe you should simply tell her that she needs to grow up and quit giving her girlfriends all the details of your relationship. If she continues, move on. She will have to find her own way into adulthood and ditch the group to do so. Until then, she will continue to behave like she's a child seeking approval from her peers.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (6 December 2009):
Hi darlin, well... yes we girls are guilty of gossiping with each other. And especially if she is young; it's hard to understand where to draw the line. As a man you are going to have to get used to the fact that women will always share more with their girlfriends than you will with your guy friends. However, most women share things about their relationship with a GF and keep it under wraps; the fact that you know they all know is a bit alarming.
I'd say if you are generally happy, then you can maybe start with "so I know you talk to all your friends about a lot of things, but I really just want to keep this thing confidential between you and me; I don't want everyone to know" and then share something innocent enough (your friend got fired, you want to change jobs, whatever). But what this does is 1. clue her in to the fact that you know she talks; 2. get her thinking about "confidentiality" and the fact that you are sensitive about it. Then you can follow up with little subtle things; like if something embarrassing happens between you two just say "you aren't going to tell your friends about this are you? I'd be mortified if they knew..."
And hopefully if your girl is smart and cares about you, she's clue in and take the hint. She maybe just be young and not realize what she's doing.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (6 December 2009):
 There is always a certain level of excitement when you are with someone and if you have a best friend, you might let them know what the other person has said to you, however, you don't go into private/personal information like how things are on an intimate level between the two of you.
That is something that should be kept private between literally you and your girlfriend and no one else.
It is like asking people to score you on a performance level. If she isn't talking about the intimate side of your relationship, then it seems as though she needs to verify either her actions or yours by getting someone else's opinion on it.
Has she been in many other relationships herself before you?
I think you do need to talk to her as she obviously does not realise how this makes you feel. OK there is a risk of her getting upset or ending the relationship but what is worse, not having someone who talks to everyone about your relationship or having someone who is with you and understand there are certain boundaries that you want to remain just between the two of you and not her room mates and everyone else.
How would she feel if you started to talk to your male friend's about your relationship, put the shoe on the other foot and see how she would feel, I bet she wouldn't like it but she may feel that guys don't talk and girls do.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
To be honest, I'd say something. You can't say it point blank, but you need to tell her that you don't like that fact she's talking about your private stuff behind you back because you're looking like an idiot. If she doesn't listen after that, then leave her.
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