A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I had been talking to this guy through email over a period of three months, he would tell me about his journeys overseas and about himself and vice versa and we really connected and we even spoke on msn on christmas day. Each day I would wake up and he had replied to my messages. Then he came back home and we started texting and now we speak on the phone, (he lives about 500kms away from me however) the first week of telephone conversations were wonderful, we have a lot in common and are similar in many ways. We would speak for hours on end, late at night. But in the past week it has become slightly stale (in my head I seem to require constant reassurance that he likes me). I will be meeting him in a few months for the first time but im afraid to tell him I want to spend as much time with him as possible incase I scare him away. I know it is strange to develop feelings for someone you have never met, but the feelings are fully reciprocated. I think I am just extra needy and when I havent got a text message asking me about my day I just freak out. Will meeting him in real life give us back that connection that we have? is that the necessary next step?
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christmas, msn, period, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (18 May 2010):
 No, your just thinking too much about it now. Love is simple it just happens you can make it happen.
If you feel that your not giving him enough space and you haven't even met then there is something really wrong ...don't you think? When two people are attracted with each other all they want to do is be together (not every moment but at least sometimes). it's really that simple.
Hope it's working out for you. But please be carefull meeting people over the Internet make sure it's in a public place where lots of people are first so you can develop a proper relationship with him first.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso everything was going great up until a couple of days ago, we started talking about sex and since then he has practically been ignoring me and im not sure why. The conversation was reciprocal and it was clear we both want the same things. I was scheduled to meet him finally in a couple of weeks but over the past 48 hours he has been vague and distant to the point where I asked if I had done something wrong, to which he replied with a personal excuse and that it wasnt anything I have done wrong. Am I right in giving him space is that what this is? or is it over. any thoughts?
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (30 January 2010):
The biggest mistake in this instance if that females expect the man to do all the moves. ie: waiting for him to call you. us men call because we are doing what our heart tells us to do ... My suggestion is to not listen to what your friends say and Just listen to your heart and do what feels right.
If he plays silly buggers when you call him and brushes you off at all well then he's either playing games or he's got another love interest. The road to true love is never like that (brushing off) if he's "truly" into you he would not care what time you call. Although if it's bad timing and he respected you he'll politley ask or offer to call you back later.
"Treat em mean keep em keen" is a cliche. And a cliche usually means the exact opposite. It sounds that's what he was playing when you called him. But I could be wrong as long as he was nice about it.
It sounds like you've got a good thing going so I'd really try to meet up soon because you are at the tail end of that first Internet dating level ... It's time to meet him face to face.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondo you think it is a problem that we have another month of this before we actually meet in person? My friends suggest I just give him space and let him contact me first. He called me late last night but I was sleeping, I replied a few hours later saying how sorry I was that I missed the call. I called him today and he was a little bit short with me, but he was busy and said to call him back later (we usually talk in the late hours of the night/early hours of the morning)
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (29 January 2010):
No, meeting him in real life will be almost like starting again. Because when you are speaking face to face there are so many other communication variables such as body language, including eye contact, mannerisms, body movement and speach and tone.
You see msn only exposes the personality of you both and you have become fond of that. Meeting in real life is the real test, level two, you might find he has something really annoying that you don't like or shuts you off in speach he may swear alot, or he may not like somthing about you after meeting you in real life. But there is the other side where you both may find and learn about each other an like it.
Good luck. I hope he's what you want. Last Internet date I went on I was really pissed because even though she was really nice she said in her profile she was average body type... She had a skinny face and I'll leave the rest upto your imagination... I was not happy! No Internet dating ever again for me!
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A
female
reader, aubree_p  +, writes (29 January 2010):
Dont tell him, it will just scare him away. Be nice, flirty and fun!! He'll see and in time of you two being together for awhile he'll say it or you can. Guys get scared when they feel pushed into something too fast and they will pull away which makes you feel even more like crap. Just play it cool and take it one step at a time. Good Luck!!
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