A
female
age
26-29,
*3n0cid3gabby
writes:I've been with my fiance who lives 750 miles away for 1 year and almost 2 months (who was also my first boyfriend), and I feel like my love for him is gone. I an't explain why I feel like this, I just startd to feel like this after I came back from visiting my grandparents' one weekend in September. I had a similar feeling before in May but I managed to get rid of the thought. Now it seems a lot worse and I don't know how to make these thoughts and feelings go away. I feel less love for him then I did before that weekend. I don't want to lose him, he means the world to me and this kills me because I can feel it breaking his heart. I'm afraid I'm changing. I'm friends with a guy who likes me (I like him back which hurts to admit) and if I was to take a break and see someone else for awhile, then I'd probably go to him. I just don't know what to do, I want all my love to be my fiance's and not split between two people. I'm not cheating on him, I would never ever do that to him. I just want advice on how to feel the same amount of love that I used to have for him.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 December 2009):
 An 8 year engagement...please let us know how things turn out...in 8 years.
A
male
reader, Lee Adama  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 I don’t want to be mean, but what the hell are you doing with a fiancé at 14yrs old? Right now your body & brain are still developing towards being an adult. Enjoy the experience (if you can) & wait until you are actually mature enough to understand all the consequences of your actions..... this generally happens when someone is in their mid to late 20's. (The sad thing is though, that until you hit your 30’s you wont even realise)
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A
female
reader, g3n0cid3gabby +, writes (3 December 2009):
g3n0cid3gabby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI went to prom with him in June and that's where he proposed to me. We are planning on him visiting me a few days after Christmas and we're going to wait to get married until I'm done with college. My friend who is 20 and is pretty much the advice master says that I feel this way because I'm so comfortable with him and it seems like he's always been here. She says that we should visit each other but it's going to take more than one visit.
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A
female
reader, cheesy18  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 IT is completely normal for you to have feelings for this other guy at the age of 14 when i was 14 i would look every which way and find someone i wanted. I understand your commitment to your fiance and i know the saying goes "distance makes the heart grow fonder" but the truth is distance makes you forget how much you really love the person face to face. I'm hoping your fiance is actually a guy you met and not an internet guy. Spend time with your fiance christmas holidays are coming up go visit him and then if u find that even when you see him you dont feel 100% then you have some thinking to do because you should never force yourself to love someone as then when u are married or even put more time into it you will feel regret and anger towards your fiance/going to be husband.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Hi,
There is no magic formula for you to suddenly stop feeling for other people.
If you like this new guy, and find it very hard to keep loving your fiance, then this is a clear sign that you are not ready for marriage yet. Especially if you willingly admit that with just a break you would go to this new guy.
You are 14, it is perfectly natural for you to change how you feel about people. If you don't feel the love anymore, you can't artificially create it. You two have had your time, perhaps it is time to move on.
Hope everything turns out well!
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