A
female
age
51-59,
*rish4Ever
writes:Hello,I have been married for 14 years this June, no kids. My husband has always been into Porn websites and I have confronted him numerous times but he still goes onto them sites. We have not had sex in I dont know how long and its not from the want of trying on my part.. I get pushed away all the time to the point where I couldnt be bothered even trying anymore. I am not throwing bouquets at myself but I am a good looking woman and could have any man...I havent worked since we got married and want for nothing except for an honest husband. As he works away some weeks I got used to the porn sites once he dont be on them when he is home. The way I used to look at it was, its better him in a hotel room watching Porn than being out with an Escort/other woman. We used to live in Vancouver and for some reason things were not right so I start to check his email and I found that he was/had been to a Massage Parlor and an Escort, I had all the proof I needed to confront him which I did and he swore to me that would be the end of it.He treatened to throw me out obviously because I confronted him .... a few weeks later when we were talking about what had happened he said that he was worried in case it backfired on him and that I actually would go... I told him then I would never leave and I would never have an affair not that I would want to. We since moved to Florida (5 years ago) and I thought I left all that crap behind us in Vancouver... how wrong I was !I had to go back to Ireland last week for 4 days for a Funeral and while I was there I was chatting to him on MSN. He just didnt seem right .. said he was at the driving range two days running I was like hmmm so I thought not again, so I checked his email and of course I was right. He had signed up at an Independent Escort Service as a VIP, so I signed up with a Free Account so I could keep an eye on things. When I signed in he had left a Review for an Escort and she had replied back "Your Welcome babe anytime" I was stunned at this so she proved that he was actually with her, so I under my "male" name asked him a question about this Escort and he replied. I then went to our cell phone account and saw that yes he had called her, she obviously calls back, number was called back and forth a few times. I dont know where he has got the money from as our bank account has not been touched plus he never even took out weekly money but yet he was out for dinner everyday I was not there plus at the 'driving range' so I was told.... I have been very cool with him since I came back and he has noticed this but as he was going to Shanghai on Monday with work until Feb 13th I did not want to have it out with him before he left.. he still asks me everyday am I ok... I dont look the mae west (best).. I just put it down to a sore neck/back.While in his email I noticed that he had signed up at Adult Friend Finder ... in Shanghai ... Single ... looking for 1 on 1 sex ... I am just sick at the thought of this.. when I think of him all I can see is him with that Escort last week and the review he left, one comment he made was "I will find it hard not to become addicted to this wonderful lady" I do EVERYTHING for this man..he dont even know where we keep a can opener !!! I cry every time I think of whats going on.. I dont want to break up our marraige but I cant turn a blind eye to all this again...I have done nothing wrong but love and trust him to much ......I have printed out everything the Escort ad with her phone number.. his cellphone details with her phone number ....the review .. his reply to 'me' about review ... his details on AFF ... but how do I confront him when he comes back ?? right now I am like ok I will start with this and am confident but when it comes down to it and he is right in front of me I will just crumble.... Someone PLEASE advise me on what to do or how to do it...Thank you in AdvanceJG
View related questions:
affair, escort, money, msn, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, leefred1  +, writes (17 December 2010):
Hi i am so sorry you husband did this,I have hade the same happen to me .But i got a phone with a different number and made out i was a escort called carla and made a date with him. He went to meet her but i made out he went to the wrong place so he never got to meet lol. Well all along they could not meet because it was me all along lol Any way so i know how you are feeling. Like you i too love my husband so very dearly. And i cannot leave him. I did confront him and he said he never did it. Then one day he told 'Carla' that he was 'not interested any more, and that he never wanted to hurt his wife, and what was he thinking and that he did not want her calling him again.'And i am still with him. If you think your marriage is worth it, fight for it. But if you have to fight too long, then let him know you dont want him any more. Remember you have got to look after you and love your self too.
A
female
reader, Irish4Ever +, writes (6 February 2009):
Irish4Ever is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your advice guys - I will keep you up to date
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 "he dont even know where we keep a can opener"
Cats tolerate human beings until someone invents a can opener that can be operated with paws.
A joke, but do you see that it applies to you?
What are to him. A wive, partner, lover or a housekeeper. There is no sex and there is no love, why did he worry about you leaving?
You can't make someone love you, no matter how much you do for that person. For whatever reason he has stopped loving you. Maybe he appreciates that you are a good housewive but is that enough for you? It seems not.
He has made his choice, I doubt you can make him chance his mind. Now it is up to you to accept this marriage is over. Oh and as for him throwing you out, with the evidence of him using an escort it is HIM that is going to move out and give you at least half of everything he owns. I am not suprised he was afraid you might accept moving out. Divorces are very expensive for the cheating side.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Oh my God, I feel so badly for you. You need to confront him. He is cheating on you. It makes me sick just reading it. He does not deserve you. Let him see what life is like with out you. See how far his porn goes, see how long he can go from escort to escort. Its not a life you want to lead. You sound like a great person, but it is over now, and he needs to know what you do.
...............................
|
