A
male
age
30-35,
*nno
writes:It's one thing ive never had the guts to do...go up to a girl ive never met before in my life and ask her out or for her number...My biggest fear is being rejected and/or here saying she has a boyfriend cause then I have to walk away knowing she is either going to be laughing or saying what a loser!I suppose im lacking confidence in myself as im no brad pitt but im not the worst looking person.From the male point of view how do you guys do it?and from the female point of view, how do you take it and what would I best off doing for better results??Thanks :)
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confidence, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ajob  +, writes (22 March 2008):
yh make casual converstaion and give her a compliment, girls like to get compliments
A
male
reader, enno +, writes (8 March 2008):
enno is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey guys, thanks so much for your responses...they wont fall on deaf ears...but one thing I noticed from a few of you is that you say not to ask her straight away. I could imagine going up to a girl with her friend at the Mall and saying something like "oh hey blah blah" and 2 minutes later ask her for her number..she would say no...mainly because I sort of put her on the spot and don't know her at all(I did it before)..how would you suggest I create a conversation with her that would avoid her trying to get away form me or me coming off wierd??
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Casual chat. Keep going to the same place where you met this person, and you may get to keep chatting with them. Who knows? She might give you HER number!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Don't be scared to ask a girl out just think the worst that can happen is she will say "no". one word that once it is said you should foreget about and carry on looking for the right girl.
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You should just get into a casual conversation with her, and towards the end if all feels right, nonchalantly ask if it'd be cool if you could call her sometime. It's all about projecting confidence and if you're nervous, "fake it 'till you make it". Seriously it works.
-Jmo
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): She only becomes an important part of your life if she says yes. If she says yes, you go out, you learn more about each other, and her opinion begins to matter to you. If you just walk up, having never seen her before, and ask her out, and she declines, who cares? You've never seen her before, you may never again, so her opinion of you shouldn't matter whatsoever unless it's positive.
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A
male
reader, gramm  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 hey mate,i understand how you, feel i felt the same way,my confidence was so low that all i looked at was peoples shoes.but now i look at anyone,talk to anyone and am quite confident in myself,what CHANGED you ask.first of you need to look at it from another angle.i use to think what if she says no,what if she laughs at me what, if im not her type???who cares,rejection sucks but its part of it,ACTION CURES FEAR, so the more scared u are of doing it and putting it off the worse your confidence will get.if she laughs shes definately not worth getting to know,everyone has different opinions.now back to WHAT CHANGED,i started reading books,now if yr like i was you would be saying i HATE reading,i left school so i didnt have to read books.BUT books have knowledge,knowledge brings confidence,believe me this may sound weird but its true as i have found out. a book that will help you is WHEN OPPORTUITY KNOCKS by PAT MESITI.IN SHORT YOU NEED TO LOOK AT YR QUESTIONS YR ASKING YR SELF FROM ANOTHER VIEW.but the answer to yr question is i wouldnt go straight up to someone and ask them out,they will think yr a stalker,you need to build a relationship with them,get to know them,ask them what do you do,ask about there family,what they like to do for fun,shopping is good,talk about what they like shopping for.if you need any more advice i will be willing to help
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 If you are handsome, well looking and have sex appeal, then it is no problem getting their phone numbers or asking them out.
If you are not in this category , you need to know them first before you can ask them out.
Be confident and rejection is a part of this game.
After a few rejections , you will get used to it.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (8 March 2008):
 As a female I know that whether I had a boyfriend or wasn't interested in the guy approching me I would be very flattered and it would make me smile.
You've got nothing to lose apart from maybe a little embarrassment from rejection but you don't get nowhere in life without taking the chances and giving it a go.
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