A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Before the summer, I ask my ex to give me some space as i was feeling overwhelmed by our interactions. It felt very unbalanced, as he was in love with me then and I wasn’t with him. He wanted to keep having long talks but for me I really needed to move on and find closure so I could date new people. It started to make me feel uncomfortable and also a bit trapped. I told him we could speak after summer. Could you please suggest a kind, respectful script for how I could say to him if he wants to talk now, I'm available. Tbh I don’t really want to have talk but also I feel if I don’t suggest it, he will accuse me of ghosting or avoidancy.
View related questions:
move on, my ex, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (10 September 2023):
 Sometimes in life we have to be cruel to be kind. He wants to have this talk because he still thinks there is a glimmer of hope there between the pair of you. I feel by saying you both can talk after summer has provided him with false hope.
I think that you need to nip this in the bud before his feelings get stronger for you.
I would call or text him and tell him that the relationship is over, you don't and never will have any feelings for him, and tell him you both need to move on.
If he keeps calling and texting then all you can do is delete and block him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 September 2023):
 "he will accuse me of ghosting or avoidancy."
That is HIS issue, isn't it?
Next time you talk let him know you need to cut contact for YOUr mental health and future, that you wish him ALL the best but you need a clean break. That you will block, and delete his info and HE should do the same with yours.
That is it! Do not get into anything long-winded or too many explanations/excuses. Just say it and DO it!
You DO NOT OWE him contact! He is an ex for a reason.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2023): This sounds like a bizarre scenario to be honest.Why do you feel you have to have a 'talk"? Has he approached you? If not then I see no reason to contact him at all. Are you worried he may have actually moved on and forgotten about you? It sounds like it from your post to be honest. It pretty much seems like you want to keep him dangling in the background, waiting for you in case you need him in future.I suspect he has moved on and made a new life for himself, especially if he hasn't contacted you. I suggest you do the same and stop playing games with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2023): After a lot of soul-searching I realized that I respect and care for you, but that I am not in love with you. I don't want to hurt tour feelings by dragging this on and I don't want to lead you along. We both need to move on.
He sounds like a kind of a person that will ask why and want to get an elaborate answer what it is that you don't like about him. Don't get caught into that! Don't go there. Just tell him.that you're not in love with him and that you're sure he'll meet someone with and find happiness.
Good luck.
In my experience it is best to meet somewhere public and keep it short and on point.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (9 September 2023):
 You realize you don't have to have "a talk" just because it is what he wants? If you have definitely decided this relationship is over, the kindest thing to do is to end it firmly and cleanly.
I would send him a message saying, after having had time to reflect, you feel the relationship has run its course and you really do not feel there is anything to be gained by meeting to discuss it. Wish him well and move on.
If you feel you cannot do this, make sure you meet in a public place for your "talk". I think though that you will be giving him false hope if you agree to meet.
...............................
|
