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How should I not feel so worried about maybe not getting a text or phone call back?

Tagged as: Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have a friend who has recently gone away to university so I wont see her for a few months . im hoping to see her when shes back but im really worried that she will meet new friends and forget about me because I know this can happen . I'm really happy for her and I think going to university will make her feel good about herself as she doesn't have a great home life and time away from her home will hopefully make her happier . I have no intention of contacting her everyday or anything like that as sometimes I don't see her for a few weeks or months but im worried if I send a text I wont get one back or she may not want to see me anymore . How should I not feel so worried about maybe not getting a text or phone call back as shes not always good with replies anyways and at least try to stay in touch as best as I can without jeopardising our friendship because sometimes I feel like I have done that . I don't expect her to see me everytime she is back from uni but I just want to make sure that I am still her friend without messaging her too many times.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (8 September 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need to relax. Yes she will make new friends, but why are you so worried she will forget about you? There doesn't seem any reason why she would and you are working yourself up for no reason. I would suggest that you go out and make new friends yourself, so that you both have plenty to talk about when you do see each other.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (7 September 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntOh sweetheart. Your post is full of fears and assumptions. You ASSUME your friend will forget about you just because she MAY make new friends. You FEAR she MAY not text you back, as that has not been a strength of hers so far. You FEAR she MAY not even want to be your friend if you text her.

You say you want to "try to stay in touch as best as I can without jeopardising our friendship because sometimes I feel like I have done that". Based on what you have written, this sounds like you are very reliant on her for friendship, whereas she, perhaps, is not quite as reliant on you?

There is nothing wrong with dropping her the OCCASIONAL friendly brief text to stay in touch while she is away. Something along the lines of "Heh. Just wondered how you were doing. Hope things are going well."

Put yourself in her shoes and understand that she WILL be busy, not just with possible new friends but with university work. However, she may also feel lost and lonely at the start so may actually appreciate a short text from "home".

I would advise using this time to extend your own circle of friends. Perhaps take up new interests so you meet new people with similar interests? That way, when your friend comes home, she will not be the only one with exciting things to talk about.

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