A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For all of my teenage years and right up to now this guy and I have been doing this thing where we see each other for a while, then he just blows me off. we will have set plans and i will not hear from him for a couple months, then he will start talking to me again. i know that he's not interested in me any more and he's just using me. I need to know what to do in order to get over him. I have been in love with him for so many years, and he's ruined past relationships I have started. Now it's to the point where i have FINALLY hit rock bottom with him. I just need help in getting over him and moving on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (5 August 2011):
 Seems to me that you know very well what you need to do, but perhaps need a little "push" to do it - that right?
If so, here's a "push" from me:
1. Why on earth SHOULD you tolerate yourself feeling "love" for him for so long when he obviously doesn't love you? He certainly doesn't respect you if he makes plans to go out together and then cancels, either because he really can't be bothered (I'm assuming) or else has a "better offer" - night out with the guys, or some such. Worse still, he then disappears for months on end, only to pop up when it suits him for a conversation.
"Ruined past relationships you've had"? How in the heck did he do THAT? And why? Was he jealous (while at the same time, and paradoxically not being all that invested in you??) What do you think caused you to permit him to get away with such outrageous behavior?
You know you can't allow yourself to put up with this kind of nonsense because you really do deserve better.
Therefore: my last words to you are: brace yourself - stand tall and straight (physically as well as mentally), set your teeth and tell yourself you are NOT, under any circumstances going to have anything further to do with him. You can let him know, next time he gets in touch, that you are totally fed up, and he is not welcome to contact you ever again. If he starts complaining, feel free to tell him. once, clearly and briefly, your reasons. Permit him to respond - again, briefly, but don't allow him to get into a long diatribe, or harangue you over it - and then end the call. End of story - because you have your life ahead of you; go for it!
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