A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I was hoping to find some tips here since I'm really, for the first time in need of help from others.I've had a really awful relationship of 3 years to early 2011 and I felt I was recovered from it. However, I've kinda developed an obsessive manner with the guy I just started dating. I feel insecure and like I could throw up since my stomach is upsetting me. If I couldn't control myself, I'd text him 24-7 and try and be around him the whole time (even after just 3 months). How do you stop becoming obsessive?A little background story is.. I dated my ex for a really long time and I found out he was cheating on me with 2 girls behind my back for almost half of the relationship - which have made me the way I am now.Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): Tx a friend instead of him.
Break the pattern, do your nails anything, but stop!
The good thing is you know what your doing and why, trust yourself, protect yourself and remind yourself he is just a man - you are the person you need to invest in most x
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 April 2013):
Well I could give you a bunch of tips but you probably need counseling.
The tips I'd give you:
Treating someone like they're guilty of what your ex did is a great way to push them away and ruin an otherwise promising relationship.
Snooping, spying, etc, will not prevent them from cheating, it will only make them have to be more creative and even more secretive.
Fight the feelings you have. You may feel like you have to text them because they're taking to long or whatever, but you need to recognize that you really don't have to. Fight the habit.
But really, you need to see a therapist, or possibly look for a book on the subject of you can't afford therapy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): Ok, you need to relax a bit. Not all guys are the same and cheat. You can't go into a new relationship comparing this guy to your previous.
Also guys don't like to feel trapped or claustrophobic, just give him space and let him contact you first sometimes. Don't question where he is or what he's doing and who with constantly as you come across as paranoid, untrusting and needy. A big turn off for guys!
Just be cool and show him all your good qualities and everything should be fine. Have time to your friends and let him have time with his and this will make a good relationship because it shows that you don't always rely on him to have a good time.
Hope this helps :-)
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