A
female
age
30-35,
*o_in_love
writes:For the past 3 years I have been lying every single day, about things from what I've eaten that day to telling a lad I'd had an abortion. My lies have got way out of hand, but I can't tell people I've lied. At the same time, I can't stop. I feel the person who my friends like is one big lie that I'm hiding behind. How do you know if you are a compulsive liar??I want to stop, but I just can't, please, I really need help. I asked some mates during a game where we asked each other loads of questions if they could be friends with someone who was a compulsive liar, or someone they found out had lied to them about a lot of things and they said no.. Please help.Thanks xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Hey, It sounds to me you are a compulsive liar
For starters I know that everyone is saying hey just stop, but I realise that it is not that easy for you. It has become a part of your character now. But you can gradually change that
The way to do it is to try different techniques, for example, every time in your head you know you are going to lie then bite your tongue and think in your head what you are about to say, then realise that there is no need. Another one is to write down at the end of the day all the lies you have told, no matter how big or small and the person whom you told the lie to, next to that write the reason you told the lie. If you can't think of one then write what was going on at the time that you lied.
See you are trying to find the pattern.
You can stop I promise you but you need to be conscious of all your lies and telling yourself that you want to stop it, as your natural instinct is to lie as you have trained yourself to.
As for friends to be honest they will probably find out, but this is not a bad thing, if they do, tell them you have a problem. True friends will stick by you no matter what, same goes for guys. If he likes you his going to know what you’re like and should accept you for who you are.
I am compulsive liar it is hard to stop but they become few and far between, and since meeting my partner and him knowing I do not do it as much. It is all down to feeling secure to be honest. With my him, from the moment we met I told him what I am like and he accepts it, it's unspoken but if I have lied then he lets it slip. So I do think you are doing it as a form of insecurity and out of habit
I think you should also go have some therapy, cognitive would be the best for you. Looking at why and what makes you lie and then working on how to change that.
I wish you the best of luck
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 You need to seek professional counseling because they will be able to guide you through a self-analysis which will help you understand why you feel the need to do this, and how you can begin to break the cycle and start telling people the truth. You are in an unhealthy place right now, but the fact that you're recognizing this about yourself, and you seem to want to change is a good sign. You just need a little help to get you started on the right path. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I know a few & trust me, you're not fooling anyone; anyone who knows you for a period of time catches you in your lies & does not trust you. do you want people to continue thinking you're an untrustworthy liar? just stop doing it.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Yep you are.
Im not too sure how you would change it though if it has become part of your life. You might lose a lot of friends. Maybe slowly stop yourself lying from now on?
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (10 August 2007):
 It does sound like you are a compulsive liar. As the poster below said: Why do you do it? Are you insecure about what people will think of you if you tell the truth?You should stop lying to everyone. What about when you have a job interview and lie? They will find out one day and you'll be sacked on the spot.So, even if it's hard you really need to stop for or you won't get very far in life.Hope this helped.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Well, it feels like you are indeed a compulsive liar. Lying all the time is the definition of it, I guess.
Why do you lie? Do you feel that people wouldn't love you for who you are?
The way out of this is very simple. Stop lying. In addition to this being the right thing to do, you'll see that your life is much easier this way.
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