A
male
age
36-40,
*rince020
writes:Hey everyone! Iam a 21 male and my GF is 24! We are already talking about spending the rest of our lives together. Her family knows about me but my parents do not know about her. Only my sister does. I want to tell my parents about her but I dont know how to tell them.I have a feelign that they might say no beacuse she is older! Any one got any suggestions on what I should do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Part of being a man is to take a stand for things you beleive in even if those things are not popular with others close to you. You are 21, now legally an adult. Start acting like one, and you will be respected like one. Do your parents honestly have that much influence on you that they could forbid you to see whoever you want? If so, then you will lose out in life on more than just a 3 year older girlfriend.
-FBK
A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Well, to start with, just introduce your parents to your girlfriend. Don't drop the "I want to stay with her forever" bombshell beforehand - they'll have that in their heads otherwise, and will judge her based on it. Just introduce them, say "this is my girlfriend", have a cup of coffee or dinner together, and get that hurdle behind you.
Three years is not a huge age difference. Don't start out by telling them "she's an OLDER woman so don't be surprised at how OLD she is" - don't even mention the age thing, if you think they'll freak. If they ask how old she is, tell them. Casually. If they don't, don't bother - because really, three years is not that big of a deal. It'll come out at some point, but unless you make a fuss about it, they probably won't. If they think you're bothered about something, it's more likely to bother them too.
And if they say no? Well, you're an adult, and they don't get to tell you what to do (nyah nyah). If you're happy together, that's the important part. And when your parents *see* how happy and committed and in love you are, they'll be pleased for you in the end. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, nicola79  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 this is not a big age gap,its only 3 years sweety. yes they may be worried that you are rushing into things but if you are 100% sure this is what you want then i think they will understand.
i dont know how long you have been together but maybe dont do anything to drastic straight away, just get to know each other and enjoy your time together.
you sound like you know what you want,but you have to be strong and tell your family.
nicola.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (21 May 2007):
 You're a 24 year old male, which means that it's all about your own decision. If your parents aren't happy with it, then they're missing out on a new daughter-in-law. If they love you and support you, they'll come around, even if it takes a little time. If you two love each other, go for it, and grab on to her tightly.
Dv1
...............................
A
male
reader, prince020 +, writes (21 May 2007):
prince020 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input! But TasteofIndia, im also from around that area. You know how parents are from that part of the world. Its just crazy to think about it!
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 May 2007):
 Hi sweetness,
The age gap between you and your girlfriend isn't very big. I think your parents will be okay with teh age difference. Has your sister met your girlfriend? If she has, when you're telling your parents, have her support you and also tell your parents how great your girlfriend is.
Make sure when you tell your parents, you don't act as if you're telling them bad news. This is good news! You've found a girl that you really want to be with. If you are excited about it, and you feel good and you're happy, your parents will be as well.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
...............................
A
female
reader, Miss_Oz +, writes (21 May 2007):
 First, let me assure you that three years is not a big age gap at all; if you were 16, it would be a big gap. Three years is not much and many men find themselves drawn to older women, even if the age gap is slight. Secondly, you are 21; you are an adult and so is she. You can choose your decisions and make your own plans; if your current plan is to be with this woman for the rest of your life, you may change your mind later in life but that aside, you will have to tell your family. Your family will meet her eventually, if you're going to be with her long-term; the longer you wait, the more nervous you will make yourself and her. Introduce your family to her, let them talk to her and make up their minds about her before you immediately assume they won't approve simply because of a few years age difference. If this is your choice and it makes you happy, then I'm sure your family will support you. You might find the only problem your parents have is that you didn't confide in them earlier!
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (21 May 2007):
 You are 21 and she is 24, this is a three year age gap which is nothing atal. I mean if she was 44 then i could see why your parents might be a little concerned, but not for the sake of three measly years.
Choose the right moment and take her home to meet them, and tell them this is the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. I can only see that they would be happy for you.
Good luck
...............................
|
