A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 years old and I live with my grandmother who doesn't approve of mixed race dating. I am Caucasian and my boyfriend is Dominican. We have been dating for 6 months and he treats me very good. I have not told my grandmother about him because of how strongly she feels about mixed race dating. I plan to move out with him in a few months. I need advice, I'm so afraid to tell her because I know this would break her heart and possible hurt our relationship. What should I do??
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male
reader, Mansur ahmed  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 In my opinion,first of all you should discuss with your mom and dad. Iam sure that they'll give you the right decision... Best of luck dear
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 May 2013):
 it's just an age gap difference. the older generations grew up with a completely different mentality then the younger generations. so of course, as you know, you're not doing anything wrong. and theoretically, she should support you and embrace whatever it is that makes you happy. unfortunately, life never goes that simply.
i can relate to you. i'm gay. which is very different than your situation, yet extremely similar in a lot of ways. in fact, i believe my family would much rather me date a man of a different race than a white woman. that being said, i know the struggles you're facing of not feeling accepted. it can be really difficult.
my advice to you is to be true to yourself. do you love this man? is there a future? if so, then you need to be open and honest about your relationship and be emotionally prepared for the consequences. it may put a divide in your relationship with her, but in the end, you're just being true to yourself. and that's what matters most, in my opinion.
that's how my gf went about coming out to her family. her mom practically disowned her. but she knew how she felt and she knew that she wasn't wrong for who she loved. she stood up for who she was and who she was with. and that's noble, if you ask me.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (6 May 2013):
Keeping him a secret isn't doing your relationship with your boyfriend or your grandma any favors. If things are going so well, you'll have to tell your grandma at some point. If she has such a big problem with it, then it really is her problem. The longer you hide this the worse it will be when you grandma finds out. If this is going to break her heart, it doesn't matter whether she finds out today or a year from now. Her reaction is going to be pretty much the same. However, if you tell her now, you won't have to worry about her finding out anymore. It will be a huge weight off your shoulders. Plus, think about how being kept a secret makes your boyfriend feel. If he really is such a great guy, he deserves better than that. Your romantic relationships are not about who makes your grandma happy. They're about what you want and who makes you happy. Just remember. She is your grandma. She isn't going to stop loving you and at some point she'll come around. Show her how great you are together. She wants what is best for you and she may not see it at first, but eventually she'll see how happy he makes you.
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