A
female
age
36-40,
*utiepebbles
writes:I have feelings for my boyfriend's best friend, we have a lot in common and I really can imagine us dating. How do I tell my boyfriend's best friend that I will break up with my boyfriend to begin a new relationship with him?
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male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (6 February 2008):
 To be perfectly frank you just don't do it!
Relationships are not a necessity of life. The fact that you would break up with him to see somebody else should tell you your current boyfriend is not the one for you. You have an obligation to end the relationship at that point and let the other person move on. It's just not acceptable to hold on to a "Mr. Right Now" while you look for Mr. Right.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 You always want what you can't have. Do you really have feelings for him or is it just lust or an infatuation?
At the end of the day there are certain rules which shouldn't be broken and one of them is stay away from boyfriend's/girlfriend's friends/family.
If you are attracted to this guy and not happy in your current relationship then you should leave him regardless. Maybe after some time on your own, out of a relationship, you can clear your head and think about what you really want?
I dumped one of my girlfriends and moved on and spent loads of time with my mates. About 4 months later one of my friends bumped into her in a bar and they got talking. She gave him her number. Being a proper friend he invited me out for a lunchtime drink next day and told me about it and I toold him it was fine by me, if he's interested he should go for it.
However, this is different to your situation. If your boyfriend's best friend is a true friend he will tell him what's going on. And ditching your boyfriend to move onto his best mate right away is heartless!
I think you need to think about what you really want. Whatever it is you shouldn't be with this guy if your contemplating moving on to his best friend.
How would you feel if it was the other way round?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 February 2008):
 I must agree with the others answering - an honorable young man and true friend would decline your advances and probably tell his buddy about it right away. You then probably lose both of them because, in their eyes, you would be without honor. Of course, "some" guys are not honorable, and as "Collaroy" indicated, you would likely deserve each other.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Hi,
If your bf's best friend is any type of friend at all he will tell you go to take a jump.
If he reciprocates your feelings then I guess you deserve each other.
At least break up with your boyfriend now to save him further hurt - if you have any sensitivity left in you at all.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 February 2008):
 You have to understand that if your boyfriend's best friend is a true friend. You can tell him, but more than likely he's not going to take you up on your offer. Best friends are like family and often they'll choose to keep thir friendshiip, not enter into a relationship that will cause harm to the friendship.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 February 2008):
 You're trampling on very dodgy ground here. Your boyfriend's best friend might decide to remain loyal to him and won't want to go out with you even if you DO tell him you're going to finish with your boyfriend. Better tell your boyfriend first as there's no point in being in a relationship with him when you fancy someone else, his best friend or otherwise. Only once you've finished things should you approach the best friend.
~Eve~
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