A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello everyonei really like this girl at college who is doing the same course as me.we speak sometimes and a bit over facebook by commenting on each others statuses but i would like to get to know her more and i want to know how to speak to her on facebook chat without her thinking i'm a stalker or anything? and if we speak online then i'll be more comfortable speaking to her face to face then because i am more confident speaking online and then when i see her face to face we have something to speak about and have a good laugh then. also the last few days i have noticed her looking at me a few times in the corner of my eye and i was wondering when i look at her should i smile at her and should i speak to her when i know she's looking? and if i should speak to her what should i say? should i ask her if she's ok or something else?my friend talks to her and he has recently broken up with his girlfriend and sometimes i feel really jealous about it as i haven't been able to sleep for a few days because i have pictured them together. i want him and her to be happy but i just want to control my feelings before i do something stupid because he's a very good friend. and i would like her to be happy but with me but it doesn't matter as long as she's happy. thank you for all of your comments
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I would start with "hi, how are you?" and see where it goes from there.
A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Ok, first thing, calm down. Take a deep breath in, and out.
Firstly she's looking at you dude, not your friend. So she must like you not him. She hasn't asked him out so you have a chance with her.
Next, you’re not a stalker if you use facebook chat, in my experience it’s actually better for talking to someone. Start out with a friendly hello, just like you would with any other person. Then start a conversation, base it on events in college and in your class together. Add some humour in there, if you get her laughing the your golden. Talk about your details, like your music interests, your family, sports, movies, then compare. For example, if you’re talking about the latest cinema releases, mention you’re favourite film. Then ask her what her favourite film is and why.
As for the look, dude, smile at her. Make eye contact with her, you’d be surprised how much can be said in just a second of eye contact.
But eventually you’re going to have to take the plunge and talk to her. Talk just like you would to any other person, ask her how she is, what she’s up to, what her plans are. And if you’re feeling very brave, ask her if she’d like to do something with you if she has no plans. But take your time.
I hope it works out dude, just take your time and keep a cool head.
All the best, Dataluke
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 if something in the classroom, on your course, is quite interesting ,you could go in to the private message box, where no one else can see what you are writing (on fb). for eg. Class was quite interesting today wasnt it, what did you think about that.....blah blah.. Then it could be a starting point for conversation to and fro.
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