A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am with my boyfriend for a year now, and early in the relationship their were harsh words exchaged with my bf and my parents. I love my family so much, and I love my boyfriend so much too. We plan to get married in the future, but my boyfriend won't get involved with my parents. I want to be with him, but if he's not going to swallow his pride I won't marry him. I don't want to push him either.But am I wasting my time waiting for him because I'm only 19. How can I get him to like my parents, and come to holiday dinners?
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female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Dear anonymous writer,
Hun he doesnt sound very good, if he really loves you he would suck it up and deal with your parents its not like he has to live with them or see them all the time you arent asking for a lot from him and if he wants to marrie you he will have to learn how to talk to your family, i am getting married in may and i wouldnt know what to do if my fiance dont like my family cause family comes first! try talkin to him and tell him enough is enough you are not wasten your time with him if he wont put the past behind him....well good luck and do the right thing, if he wont talk to your family then leave him cause if you get married then it will trun out he will make you pick him or ur parents it wil be hell!
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (9 April 2007):
 Are your parents willing to swallow THEIR pride and try to make a go of it with him again? If this man really loves you then he'll do it for you! He should know how much you love your family, after all, if it wasn't for your parents, he would never have you would he? Tell him how much it would mean to you for you all to reconcile. He didn't know them and got off to a bad start, it happens and he won't be the first person that's happened to. He needs to swallow his pride and apologise to them for whatever it was that was said. Maybe your parents need to make their apologies too if they said some harsh or heated words.
Life is too short, if he loves you then he will see how much it hurts you and should do it for you.
Eve
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A
male
reader, jaffautd +, writes (9 April 2007):
i understand your feelings, i didnt get on with my ex parents, because of a few harsh words, your bf is an adult and has to do the adult thing, he should say to your parents that what happened in the past happened he is sorry and would like to start again because he loves there daughter so much that he wants to get on with them for you and himself so he feels welcome etc, i sat down with my ex parents for an hour or so talking and listening he needs to listen to them aswell as them listening to him, you should also be present aswell
hope you find this helpfull x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): I'm glad to hear you won't marry him unless he swallows his pride and reconciles things with your parents. Your parents have worked hard and dedicated much of their lives to bring you up and so anyone who dates you is at a duty to show respect to them, don't you think? Your boyfriend should make this effort, he has only known you for just a short year - nothing in the greater scheme of things, so what right does he really have? I have to say this is quite a typical problem for a couple in their teenage years. When people have more experience with relationships and life they more appreciate the importance of family and they aren't so quick to exchange harsh words with their in-laws. Your boyfriend needs to find his maturity, and I think you're the one that needs to assert your confidence so that he knows what is and isn't acceptable behaviour with you.
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