A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy, we have been going to the same tutoring class for over a year now, and we meet every weekend during classes. He's really cute,smart and does math like a pro, and I've liked him since last year. The problem is that, I'm super shy and I've never, ever spoken to him, and I have no idea whether he likes me or not. The only clue I've gotten from him so far is that we exchange a couple of tiny glances here and there, and on my first day of tutoring classes, we sat opposite to each other and he looked at me like, 10-20 times. But it's been over a year since that happened, the number of glances have drastically decreased. Maybe he's not interested in me anymore. What I want to do is talk to him, take a small step and say hi first. Become friends. But I'm terrified of it because it's been a year and I've never said a word to him. He might think I'm creepy and weird. I don't have much time left too, after this year, we'll be going our separate ways. I don't want to regret never talking to my crush. But I'm not being able to overcome my shyness and my fears. Please help me. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2019): If he likes you, talking to him won't be creepy or weird. He would be glad you broke the ice. Sometimes we hide behind crushes because it's safe; and we can enjoy the fantasy of imagining what it would be like if they crushed back. You're young enough to do that; and it's really normal and okay! Remember, he's just a boy! That's all!
Prepare, you're going to have sooooo many crushes!
You will get tired of shyness letting great opportunities slip-by one after-another, after-another. Cute-boys you want to at least say hi to; just to see if you can get his attention. Instead, you're always going to be the scared little-girl with her head down and hands behind her back; while all the other more outgoing-girls steal-away all your chances to meet somebody you liked first. Think about that!
You have to learn not to be afraid of "what might happen;" and be daring enough to try and discover or determine "what WILL happen!" That's what growing-up is all about. Control shyness, don't let it control YOU!
That is also how we learn how to interact with unfamiliar people. Shyness is a protective instinct that keeps us away from real or possible threats and danger. Saying hi to a cute-boy we share classes with day-after-day is not a threat or dangerous!
If he's not interested, he's not interested. Someday you will have to deal with liking someone who doesn't feel the same. If you start getting used to it now; it will be much easier when you're old enough to start dating boys.
Your self-esteem is yours to build and to protect; and it isn't something just anybody can steal or destroy. Take a chance, so you won't miss golden-opportunities! If he does think you're weird for liking him, you didn't miss-out on anything! He wouldnt't be very nice, and your crush was wasted on him. At least you would know for sure; but will not always be wondering "what if?"
Challenge yourself by practicing and developing the ability to take control of the shyness that will deny you from making new friends; and chatting with cute-boys who are waiting for you to smile, and stop staring and avoiding him like he has a third eye in his forehead!
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (12 June 2019):
 Be brave, a little scary perhaps but if you dont give it a go then you'll never know. That, I think, a bigger disappointment. You have nothing to loose by saying hello. You must have a bit in common, even if it is only tutoring you you bring up in conversation. Try not to think of him as being anything more than a boyfriend at this point, rather just someone you may find interesting as a new friend- who happens to be a boy. Good luck
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