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How do I open the lines of communication?

Tagged as: Cheating, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *teves_papa writes:

Okay I'm sorry in advance for this being so long... but its been a long 6 years lol.. my girlfriend started staying with me at my parents when she was 16 and I was 17. She lived out of the school ddistrict and her mom fell ill with cancer. (She stayed with us for a couple weeks at a time while her mom was hospitalized. It developed into her living with me.) Everything started happening about a year or 2 after beginning to date.. she was unfaithful, and I found out by reading a comment on her journal site. I was hurt real bad. I forgave her and tried my best to get over it. So throughout the next few years, i'd find out by myself that she had cheated. This really really took a toll on me over the years and I continued to stay because I had it in my head that I NEEDED her.. I was 325 pounds by that time.. and her maybe 160. So a big difference. My insecurity and weight made me a slave. So the last time it happen, I broke it off, and begged her to come back. She did, and I started losing weight.. 100 pounds in just over a year I'm proud to say! Lol. But things started changing.. girls started noticing me and she knew it. Which made things between us better. She valued having me more I think. But with that in mind, we have been dealing with my debt... and trying to get out of my parents house. I feel like I am to blame that we are still at home. Buut in todays economy its hard for peope to even keep their current job let alone finding a better one.. but this past year I find that I still think about her cheating on a daily basis. But its now a normal everyday thought. I became dull to it it seems. And with money problems and my deeep set emotional issues, I find us not having anything to talk about in silent moments like driving and dinner. I do love her though.. and I know she loves me.. I need advice on how to get us talking more again, and get us to have something in common. We're only 22 and I feel 50!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2009):

You sound lke you're slipping into depression, and I would recommend talking to someone about it. That's the first point.

If you're not findind anything to talk about, then maybe take up a new hobby (that's cheap), that will give yourself something to talk about. Ask her about how her friends are, ask her about how her work is. Just ask her about herself so she knows you're interested in her.

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