A
female
age
30-35,
*MP
writes:We have been married for 5 yrs now. My husband never flirts with me nor he never takes me out. We always have sex but we have never made love. My husband has got lots of cyber relationships which i have lost count of. Each time i find out we have a big fight and he would promise that he wont do it again but never keeps his word. I want to break up with him but my family is asking me to stay back for the sake of our 2 yr old son. He always tells me that he is doing all these for fun and that he would never leave me and tries to win me back whenever i plan to leave. I want to leave but i don't know how to do it. I find it hard to sleep or do anything properly. Is there any place where i can get help from? I want to feel good again and live a happy life.
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (13 October 2009):
 Your husband's addictive behaviours is making you feel as if your invisible and i fully understand how you feel because no one should have to endure someone Else's addictive problems if they are showing no signs in getting help for them!
Does he not feel he has a problem? if you ask him to see someone about this what does he say?
If you cannot get him to seek help for this and he also refuses then you need to think about your own future and that of your young son.
Women's Aid will help you to find somewhere for you and your son but i would only use this as a last resort and if your very sure in your mind you no longer want to be with him.
Addictive behaviours can be dealt with but first he has to admit he has a problem with this and then seek help.
If he does and you can support him through this then he may well go on to recover.
I would also get blockers on your PC to stop him accessing certain sites that is one of the first things you need to do to help wean him off this.
Again it is up to him too, maybe when he sees you walking out the door with his child he will wake up and realise his behaviour is a problem.
I also think he needs to know how low your feeling and how unhappy this is all making you feel already it is affecting your sleep most probably due to worry, having a 2 yr old to think about too is not easy when on your own, so talk these issues out with him leave nothing out, and he has to decide if he is taking this seriously as you are!
Gina
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Drag your husband to a marriage counsellor and if that fails, well then rather move on with your life.
Your son would probably benefit from being in an environment where there is no tension and fighting, dont stay together just because of the child!
You husband is making promises then breaking them because he knows that you will always be there and you keep forgiving him.
Its time to take action and do something positive.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x + ♥, writes (13 October 2009):
 He may be doing all these things for fun, but it's only him that's actually having fun. It's a horrible and selfish thing to do, particularly when there's a child involved. He may have even thought of it as harmless in the beginning, but if you've mentioned it, he should have put at end to that.
Don't be talked in to sticking around just for your child, splitting up would probably be more beneficial. Children pick up on emotions and tension a lot easier than adults give them credit for, and usually a lot quicker than adults even. Staying with someone you don't want to be with will just cause un-needed unhappiness for the child, as no doubt he'll have to listen to arguments.. or end up feeling like he's done something wrong. A lot of children blame themselves for arguments or ill feelings between parents.
It's all good and well him trying to win you back when threatened with a break up.. but this means nothing when he doesn't keep it up afterwards. You've asked for help with a break up.. so it seems you're decided, and I definitely think you'd be doing the right thing in my opinion.
As for places to get help from.. I can't name any off the top of my head. But I'd advise you to talk to your family again, and rather than sounding unsure, tell them you've already decided what you're going to do, and ask them for support rather than for them to try and talk you out of it. You'll almost definitely need your family during this.
Good luck x
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