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How do I learn to honour myself enough to make the changes that need to be made, and still remain stable for my children?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2008)
A female Canada age 51-59, *elody/belody writes:

How do I move on with my life when I'm not in love with my common-law husband of 15 years (don't think I ever have been).

We have 3 young children together. He has been verbally and physically abusive with me over the years. Even as most recently as my last pregnancy just 1 week before the baby was born. He controls the money, we live in a nice home and neighbourhood. The 2 older kids are stable in this home, community and their school.

It's just me ... wrestling with my discontent. I don't want to be intimate with him. I refuse to kiss him. Yet he tells me he loves me so, and I'm all he's ever wanted and he won't let me go.

I constantly fantasize about another man I met months ago who has expressed an interest in me who I think I could be happy with. But who is financially poor. I'm not after anybody's money but I definitely will need it to survive when I finally decide to leave. But in order to finally physically leave - I have to get out of being mentally stuck. Does anybody have any suggestions? Websites or books to recommend?

How do I learn to honour myself enough to make the changes that need to be made and still remain stable for my children?

View related questions: money, move on, neighbour

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

I don't have time to do the leg-work for you, but if you google.....The wounded child or healing the inner child...you will find information on this.

It begins with you visiting yourself at a very young age, from there you start to embrace who you are and learn to love yourself and do things for you instead of only others.

It takes work, but it is so worth it.........good luck on your journey.

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