A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi all, need your advice my husband and I have the same group of friends as we have been together for 12 years, we either all go out as a group or depending on events/shows etc, sometimes a couple of us go out on our own.The thing is though, I'm the only woman in this group.. theres my husband but all the other men are single.A couple of years ago I had a brief affair with one of these men (it only lasted 3 months,) I was going through a really bad time emotionally and he was the one who helped me through, needless to say we got really close and ended up having sex.We broke things off when I began to feel like I was falling in love with him, although we had agreed it was just a bit of fun.Now when I see him i'll give him a hug and I have kissed him on occasion when we are alone but we havent slept together in nearly 2 years. My husband is great and trusts me completely.I want to stay friends with this man as we have a lot of things in common and I enjoy his company. My husband encourages us to go out together beacause he doesn't like certain events and doesn't want me to miss out but when I'm alone with him I want to kiss him. I feel like I want to jump him!!This isnt because I'mm lacking in attention from my husband.. hes fantastic, but I crave the extra attention the other man gives me when I want it.I'm beginning to wonder if I should buy a vibrator but then how do I stop myself from kissing him? How do I get myself in control without jeopardising our friendship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (15 March 2007):
 Eddie tells it how it is; and I agree with him wholeheartedly. The advice you read on here probably isn`t what you want to hear, judging from the fact that you have expressed no remorse for your totally selfish actions. Instead of asking our advice on how to cope with being racked with guilt; you are asking us about vibrators and how to keep your cheating little hands off this "friend" of yours. My advice? Stick to your wedding vows, while you still have a husband; who thankfully, dosn`t know how shallow you are. Heather.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 Wow, I feel very sorry for your husband. He's doing all the things a man should do to be a trusting good husband. You, in return, treat him like a chump. What a pitty.
I can not believe that you are soooo shallow that you'd try and nurture a "friendship" with some guy that you've already "bumped uglies" with.
Your affair " only " lasted 3 months. That's good, anything over three months is wrong. You both agreed it was just " a bit of fun". That, of course make sit OK. It was nice of him to "help" you through your bad times. What a guy. I can see why you still like to be around him. Screwing a woman when she's looking for a shoulder to cry on is always a good idea.
Finally, why the hell do you care about this friendship? What makes him a friend? Oh I forgot, the support he gave when you were needy. This is not friendship. It's two people acting like horny fools and being totally dishonest, inconsiderate, selfish, uncaring, rotten, cheating teenagers.
You don't need advice. You need help to figure out why you are morally bankrupt and what troubles you have buried deep inside. You continue to potentially devistate the man you say is a fantastic husband. So, so selfish and shameful. By the way, I hope you haven't exposed him to any diseases. After all, your "friend" surely couldn't be sleeping with anybody else...right?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 March 2007):
 If you continue allowing yourself to feel like this then it's only a matter of time before something happens between you both and that is NOT being fair to your husband. He trusts you so respect him more. Think of it this way... You have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody else.
So you need to take control here. Don't allow yourself to be in his company alone for a single minute! Spend more quality time with your husband and try out new things together sexually, buy that vibrator and experiment with it together. Make him fancy you again, come on, all women have within them the power to do this if they just try. He trusts you implicitly, remember that! Don't spoil what you have together for the sake of attention from another man!
Eve
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (15 March 2007):
Spend time with him, but not on your own. If your husband or other friends arnt going, then dont go. Your wanting to kiss him for goodness sake, something is bound to happen eventually. Avoid it being just you and this man, if you want something to happen then you better make yourself single.
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