A
female
age
30-35,
*ca9130
writes:My mom doesn't understand the type of life I'm living. I'm 20 and I tell my mom everything since I began wanting to be full honest with her. I decided that relationships aren't my thing right now but I do like the feeling of sex and the role I get into when I do it, so a friend and I decided to be friends with benefits. We feel attracted to each other, but no strings attached right, so we can date and have sex with other people, though I told him I wouldn't have sex with any one else except him. I told my mom and she was fine with it, though a little reluctant and she even let me bring him to my house to have sex with her consentment. Suddenly one day she freaks out and says to never bring that guy into the house for sex since he is using me and that I should have self respect and dignity. The thing is that we are infact using each other and still mantain the friendship we have, talking by the internet and going out with friends but she doesn't understand it. I've never been more happy in the last ten months and I know I like this life style and if people are going to categorize me as a slut or whore because of what I'm doing (which isn't that terrible!) then I'll be a slut, because I'm happy and I know who I am really. What do I do to make her understand? My sister smokes cigars and marihuana in our house without consentment and she's 17 and she lets her do it all the time, but when I'm having safe sex with a friend of confidence, I'm the bad daughter? What can I do to make her know that doing this isn't bad and that she should accept me, it's the same thing when I dated my year and half boyfriend who was Jewish. She freaks out everytime I do something out of the traditional.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): And if you were a living mum would you be ok with your young daughter doing this? It's your body so if you want to open your legs to a guy who is using you for sex its up to you. It sounds like you are really not ok with being called a slut. Only you can change this. It's a shame because decent guys might want a girlfriend who respects themselves and their body. Only you can decide whether sex with a friend is really worth all this upset.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 A Mom should be consistent with her children but is not always able to do so. There may be things from the past that make you Mom so much more sensitive about this.
She knows that a good name once lost is hard to regain.
She also has years of more experience about how these things turn out
Yes you can choose to live your life as you see fit. But there are consequences for all our actions and your Mom is clearly worried that you will be hurt.
At the same time Your Mom has the right to exclude from her home what any visitors who cause her concern.
Please do not call yourself horrible names ever. That is not who you are. And try to stay friends with your Mom. She is on your side, no matter what you think
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