A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been dying to tell someone about this....I have a huge crush on one of my best friend's boyfriends. He is funny, caring and good looking. He is also a very touchy feely person and when she is not around gives me hugs and snuggles into my neck (which I am not complaining about). She is my friend so I wouldn't do that to her - its just that I think that I would be sooo much better for him :( It is very hard for me because they are both my friends and I hang around with them a lot, so I see him being touchy feely with her + wish that some how it was me. No one else knows about this because I am afraid what they will think of me. I do flirt with him when my friend isn't around ... and also when she is - i just can't help it :SI would appreciate your advice on how to deal with this.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Well, now you've definitely crossed the line. I would come clean to your best friend as soon as you can so that she doesn't learn from anyone else. You need to apologize big time and stay the hell away from her boyfriend! Clearly, he is hard to resist! And alcohol doesn't make it any easier, but isn't an excuse.
Expect your friend to be pissed off, I would be if I were her - you probably would be too. But you need to be honest and commit to your friendship over your lust for her fella.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere's the next problem ...
He's going to away + we won't see each other for over a month. We were at this party and he was giving individual "goodbyes" by the time he got to me everyone had left + the garden was empty. We were both a little drunk ... and the goodbye got a little emotional - we ended up kissing. No one saw except the guy who threw the party (who everyone tells me has a crush on me). I don't know who to tell, so i am saying it on here.
Would appreciate some more help - even though i think i know what you will say. :) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the help ... really appreciated :) xxx
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A
female
reader, Hersong +, writes (2 July 2009):
I really do think this is a bad idea like the first girl but I would like to add I know how feelings go and sometimes they just seem to go wherever, even places best not ventured. I know this sounds hard but I would tell your friend the truth. Tell her your orry and you will not do it again, that you still have some feelings for his guy so maybe try to stay away from you for a while. And wait and see if they stay together and as long as they're together make a point to resit the temptation to talk to him even at all, cause you're at a weak point right now and are not in a state of mind where you will do what's good for any three of you and will regret it later if you persue this. I'm sorry but this is true. Just think, even if he started dating you instead of her right now, both pf you would be guilty, you wouldn't know what kinda person you'd have that would do that to their partner and they would probably do it to you as soon as feelings started to fade. Your friend would think you were the worst person ever and be soo very hurt. He would feel in his heart he was a bad person. But if you don't do anything but are honest there is no bad way this can go. 1 Your friend may dislike you at first but later realize how hard it was to stop and confess when you did and she'd trust and confide in you later more than now. So you would feel better about yourself cause you'd know you did the best thing, and if in time they both realize they were not right for each other than you two could be together in the way that would be most likely to succeed. Just let go of this and wait. Hope you all get what you want in the end, with Love Sandra
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 July 2009):
Look, it's normal to have crushes. Even on your best friend's fella. BUT, the bottom line is what do you care more about? This guy, or your best friend? What you are doing is hurting her even though she has no idea... if she found out or saw one of these hugs and snuggles when you thought she wasn't looking, she would be devastated and you'd lose a friendship forever. At your age (and every age, but ESPECIALLY at your age), guys will come and go but your friends will be your friends forever. Don't waste a great friendship for an okay guy. There are tons more fabulous guys out there who are single, or at least not with your best friend (not that I encourage going after a taken man).
Avoid being around them, and when you are you'll have to work at distancing yourself. Next time he wants a hug or to get close, you need to be firm and tell him to back off. Say, "listen, this is fun but I can't do this to my best friend and you definitely shouldn't be. So this really needs to stop. I value my friendship way too much to do this". Be firm and stop playing with fire or everyone in this story will get burned!!!
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Stop playing with fire. It's not cool for you to get touchy with your friend's boyfriend. Push him away when he gets snuggly and try to limit your time around him. Don't say you can't help it, because you can.
It doesn't matter how good you might be for him, he chose your friend and you need to respect that.
Good luck.
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