A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes:how do i get over my insecurities? My insecurities hold me back from a lot of things as far as my relationship with my boyfriend. i feel embarrassed at times when we make love and when we partake in other intimate activities. he constantly tells me that i'm beautiful and that i shouldn't be insecure, and that it could ruin us if don't get over them. i really do try hard to get over them but its just so difficult. how can i get over them?
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female
reader, confusedlover10 +, writes (24 February 2011):
confusedlover10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well, i am insecure about my hair and it makes me feel horrible at times. im getting dreadlocks and right now my hair looks bad but he says that he loves it, sometimes it makes me wonder what on earth is he looking at. he tells me that my body is beautiful but i disagree with him everytime he says so b/c i have scars on my back that i absolutely hate. when i tell him that he's cute or sexy, he just says "i know"...he's quite insecure himself & so i think this is his way of working on getting rid of them. he's never put me down before. im jus really afraid that my insecurities will ruin us :/
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I would say without a doubt that when you look at yourself in the mirror you do not see what he sees. If only we could see each other through our partner's eyes. While I am not insecure about the way I look I have learned to simply say thank you when the love of my life gives me a compliment.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 Well you need to start believing that you are beautiful to him. Every girl has there own insecurities. But you need to work out what yours are and start working on those. Doing things that make you feel good always help. Like have a healthy eating plan, get plenty of exercise and drink plenty of water. This always makes people feel good about themselves. Also doing your hair or getting a new outfit always gives you a good boost. Also listen to everything he says because am sure he is not lying to you. Personality is what makes a guy fall for a girl and once they have fallen for her the things they hate about themselves is usually what the guy loves most.
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A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Accepting yourself is one of the toughest things you will ever have to do, but one of the most rewarding.
Some people like to repeat affirmations in the bathroom mirror. Think Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful", except in spoken word form, and you will have a general idea. However, these aren't a patient girl's best friend.
I dare you for one whole day to believe every compliment you receive, and to gracefully accept it. I dare you to look at every woman who passes you in the street and say to yourself, "She doesn't have anything that I don't have, I'm just as beautiful as her". I dare you to go for one whole day without uttering the words "don't", "can't" and "won't". I dare you to dance naked in front of your bedroom mirror. I dare you to write in your diary all the things you like about every single part of yourself.
If you can do these things for one day, there is no reason that you can't do them forever. It's just a matter of beginning.
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A
female
reader, lolasloosingit  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Hi Lovely,
How about you tell me what your insecurities are? We all have them... even men. Perhaps, even more than girl's.
What your boyfriend is saying is quite valid, it may possibly ruin your reltionship, but, pehaps not in the way that he suggests. You see, people ARE attracted to confident people. It makes us feel more at ease at times to be surrounded by people who seem so care free and it leads us to believe that they are less judgemental on others, as they are not that way about themselves.
Honestly Hunny, I have many many friends who are confident and believe in themselves and their attributes and so they feel empowered and so that ouzies out when in their presence.
I wish I could say more, however, I do not want to pressume what yu may be feeling inseure about.
If you would like to chat, then pls add more detail.
Good Luck
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