A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just come to the end of my two College degrees, and I'm finally looking for my first graduate job… but I really can't decide where I want to live - back in my hometown at my Grandparents house or stay at my boyfriends parents house where I've lived throughout my degrees, and where I live at the minute. In terms of job opportunities, there isn't much difference, although the salary is slightly higher at home.In terms of my two options… I've got my boyfriends house, where I have the majority of my stuff, my boyfriend who I love to bits, and I have a good relationship with his parents (even if sometimes they do drive me a little crazy). However, I don''t have any friends here, as they all moved back home at the end of College (which does get lonely sometimes, especially if my boyfriend is going out with his friends), and I don't really like the area where they live. In contrast, I love my hometown and all my friends and family are there - I always get a little sad when I leave to go back to my boyfriends! However, I'd miss my boyfriend if I lived there (I usually get a little upset when leaving him for a week… let alone permanently), the living situation wouldn't be ideal and I'm also wondering if I'd miss the routine… as at my boyfriends we go out a few times during the week and do different things, whereas if I lived at home it would be working 9 - 5, evening at home, and a usual weekend routine… other than meeting up with friends a few times a month… so I'm wondering if that would feel a little boring to me. Another option is renting a place at home / in a nearby city to my hometown… but renting isn't very cheap at either place… which is where staying with family would be better in order to save for a house due to it being cheaper… but at the same time I'd love my own place too… but would I get a little lonely after always being surrounded by people?! Sometimes I just think, if my parents were still alive, things would be so much easier and I could go back to my childhood home and do what many of my friends have done - gone back home, got a job and started to save! Obviously, if I did move back home, my boyfriend and I would regularly visit one another - a little like my friends do at the minute with their partners, as my boyfriend doesn't want to move out of his childhood home for a few years yet (even if he is 27), and plus he has a job in his hometown, so he wouldn't want / be able to come with me anyway. If it was up to me, I'd live at my boyfriends house, but have it in my hometown… which obviously cannot be achieved.Obviously, getting a job is permanent, so I want to ensure my decision is the correct one.. as I'd hate to regret it further down the line. I'm just wondering if living at my boyfriends would be too permanent in comparison to living back in my hometown (even if the living situation at home isn't always ideal)… as throughout my college years I've always been flexible with going home, whereas when you have a job you don't have as much freedom.Not only that, but I've also got to think about the future, and where I want to be. At the moment, I definitely cannot see myself buying a home around my boyfriends hometown (even though it's not for a few years yet)… just because I really don't like it… which may cause us problems in the future if he doesn't want to live far away from his family. In the future, I'd definitely prefer to have a home nearer my hometown, a new city, a different state, or even if I'm lucky enough overseas. I just seem to be far more open to stuff like that in comparison to him. I'm just wondering if that should also have an influence of my decision or not.Problem is, my family / friends assume I'm coming home, and my boyfriend assumes I'm staying with him and his parents… and until I decide exactly what I'm doing, whether it's stay with my boyfriend, live at my Grandparents, or have a fresh start renting in a new city or in my hometown, I'm finding it difficult to start looking for jobs, as I don't know where I want to be. Any advice would be most appreciated, as I'm really torn with what I should do.
View related questions:
cheap Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 October 2013):
 Oh, and no, a job is not permanent. Stick to the job for a year or two, then you can apply for new jobs, and move again whenever you.get a new job somewhere else.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 October 2013):
Apply for jobs both placed and make your choice when you actually have options. Being unemployed in either place should not be an option. You might have to find work a third place even.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2013): I'd apply for jobs in both places and see what panned out. If you really want to maintain a relationship with your boyfriend you would need to put in extra effort to make time for each other if you lived in different towns and this might be hard to juggle if you're both working - especially if one of you is required to work shifts.Bear in mind that even if jobs in your home town are paid slightly better you may end up spending the extra money on gas or transport to visit your boyfriend (I'm not sure how far away from each other you are)Relationships often suffer when they become long distances whereas friendships don't - they might evolve and but they don't "suffer". Most good friends are able to pick up exactly where they left off even when they haven't seen each other for years but it doesn't work like that with partners.I guess what I'm trying to say is the it depends on how much you want the relationship to last - if you think he's for keeps you should at least consider jobs in his area
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 October 2013):
 Apply to jobs in both places, in all places. You may not have a choice as where you live, jobs are hard to come by at the moment. Let the job decide for you.
...............................
|
