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How do I break off contact with him so we can still be friendly?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2011)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I really like this guy, but I think he just wants to be friends. In order for me to move on I want to end contact with him. The problem is we text and phone each other every day, if I don't text him, he gets really annoyed! To be honest I really don't know how to break off contact so its not every day but so we can still be friendly.

View related questions: move on, text

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (18 September 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

You like him, but he just want to be friends? The only way you can move on is to end contact at all, even if this means not being friends at all. How can you get pass this, if you keep contacting him daily. I know you want to keep his friendship, but right now you are not ready to be his friend. Maybe few weeks, months from now, when you are strong enough, over your feelings for him, you are going to be able to accept him as a friend.

I might be strong, but if you keep in contact with him everyday, this feeling will never go away, and you are going to be stuck. This will never end if you don't make a decision. Your feelings will be just back, and forth going no where. I know it's hard to like someone, that person don't feel the same way. I know you want to keep friends, but you need to think about your own well being. This is hurtful to you, so how long are you going to just be stuck?

I know you want to be friends win him, because he's a good person, didn't do anything wrong to end a friendship, but you need to think what's best for you, even if takes loosing his friendship.

Hope you feel better soon, make the right decision for you.

Good luck

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (18 September 2011):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI was going to respond and then I re read your question. This is the sentence that stood out: "if I don't text him, he gets really annoyed!"

Next time he gets "really annoyed" simply tell him friendships are a two way street and that it might be time he initiated some of the texts or phone calls. Then say you are busy right now but look forward to receiving his text tomorrow.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 September 2011):

Ciar agony auntFriendly or friends? Do you just want to be civil with him if you pass him in the street or do you want to keep in regular contact with him? If it's the latter, is it because you actually do want to keep in touch or is it to prevent him from being angry with you?

You can do it once and for all and be honest about why you're doing it, or you can do it gradually. If he gets annoyed (which I find rather bold of him), remind him you are not a couple. Certainly be courteous, but don't worry so much about offending him. Being a good person does not mean accomodating everyone else at the expense of yourself.

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