A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I hope you can help. I've fallen for somebody who has a boyfriend. Now, I know that I can't do anything about it and as far as I know they are perfectly happy. I don't want to come between her and her boyfriend, but if I'm honest I do want to be in a position where if things don't work out between them, I may have a chance. That's not wrong, is it? At the moment we have a really cool relationship. We laugh together loads, we flirt a lot and we often text each other outside of work. The thing is, we are going out on Saturday for her birthday. There are a couple of others from work but it will be mainly her friends, including her boyfriend. The advice I'm after is how to act. I want to just have a laugh in the same way we do at work, but I don't think her boyfriend would be very happy with some of the things we say to each other! Also, I'm not really sure how to be with him. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice bloke and I don't want to fall out with him, but I can't deny that I have feelings for his girlfriend. I'm probably making this over-complicated but I've been in a similar situation before and ended up messing things up and I don't want to do the same again!
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at work, flirt, has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): Tell him honestly that he's a lucky man to be with her, then you are hiding nothing. Try not to flirt with her in front of him, this would be unkind.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Just make sure you include the boyfriend in the conversations, ask him about himself, get to know him better. Put yourself in his shoes and don't do or say anything that would be upsetting if you were he. Be a class act, it's his girlfriend not yours.
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