A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes:I am the female, 23, and lately boyfriend, 21, has been acting distant. We've been together for a year. He would text me good morning beautiful and all those things but for the past couple of weeks or so, they are nonexistent. Whenever we text his replies are always short. Whenever a situation occurs, he wants me to submit to his way of thinking so I feel like my thoughts and feelings don't matter. We live 30-40mins apart so we've been long distant for the last 8mths. When I ask him about his distance and why his responses are so short, he says that there is nothing wrong and that I am always complaining. He also says that it's almost like I'm purposely bothering him. When I mentioned my feelings, I told him that I enjoy talking to him and I don't care to talk to a town else, and that When we don't talk or when he doesn't respond to my messages, it makes me feel sad sometimes. He said that "sometimes I really don't care. Complain complain complain...I'm not going to converse with you everytime we text. Please, calm down!" We were supposed to hangout this weekend with friends and he threatened to be alone if he needed to be since I was "bothering" him. Yet when we are together, it's totally different. We kiss hug cuddle and everything. I'm not good at backing off obviously and so I need to learn how. What am I doing wrong? Am I over reacting? When he's busy I don't text him but even when he isn't busy, it's like he doesn't want to talk to me :( I like to feel loved by him all the time. I'm in love with him and just hate feeling invisable and unwelcomed. Please help? How can I possible get him to chase me like I'm chasing him?
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female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (31 January 2015):
 One thing you have to remember in LDR is that he very well might not have any problems but you might be overthinking things so much that you're causing the problems when you do keep asking about it. Is it likely that he is having some kind of moment where he wants to back off a little? Sure, maybe, but you might never really know becuase the hardest part of a LDR is spending so much time in your own head wondering all the what-ifs. I was in a LDR for a few years and this was a relationship that was an 8 hour flight worth of distance and I would have given anything to have been 40 minutes away and driven up there to see what the deal was! I wouldn't write the relationship off yet, but when one person starts to lose interest it is very hard to keep up and there isnt much you can do to get him to chase you other than to play it cool and calm and not chase and bother him too much. Maybe if you chilled on texting or calling in general he might realize he misses you? I do hope it works out!
A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (31 January 2015):
 You're not overreacting. Communication is a huge part of a LDR and if he doesn't want to talk to you and is speaking so harshly to you, that's not a good sign.
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