A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has caught me in a couple lies along with finding things that made it look like I had done some type of cheating. I seriously have never cheated on him, and although I think he knows it deep down that I would never do that, he is constantly questioning me, setting me up, he even recorded me one time when he went to the store to see if I would call some "other boyfriend" he sometimes imagines I have. I understand why he is feeling this way, but because I really have not cheated on him EVER and I am soooo in love with him.....I don't even have any desire for any other man..... I want and need this crazieness to stop. How do I get him to trust me again? HElp pleasep.s. ANY time i lied it was to protect him or his feelings.....never because i had something serious to hide. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 June 2011):
 As you have discovered lying for any reason never strengthens the relationship. Instead it erodes trust.
t might not just be you. Does he have a history of troubled relationships? So he's been hurt before?
All you can do is sincerely apologise for lying. And mean it when you promise to not lie in future.
But he has to be genuine back. Sit him down, explain that you really have NOT cheated and have no intention of cheating. He can even believe you. Or disbelieve you.
But if you are important to him then he will come to his senses. If he will not listen to your truth then he has issues of his own. In the light of your sincere apology for lying, then ask him if he is willing to share with you why he still has so little trust in you. And why you feel so hurt by his attitude.
Maybe he has some underlying issues from the past that might benefit from counselling to heal his heart and allow the two of you to go forward? Together.
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