A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a very private and personal person. The dilema is that I'm not sure how to tell my lover when its that time of the month. I usually just avoid him for those few days but he's recently been away for a month and wants to be intimate but I 'can't'. I don't want him to think I'm pushing him away or not interested anymore. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): If you are having sex then surely you are intimate enough to mention that Aunt Flo is in town! Even then there's nothing wrong with sex during your period, in fact it helps period pains.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): When I was in my mid 30s, I started dating a woman who was about your age. On the second date, things got pretty hot and she said, "Let's quit acting like teens and just go to bed." Sounded fine to me. Well, we finished undressing and then she said, "I've got some bad news." I said, "Yeah." and she said, "It's the wrong time of the month." We didn't have intercourse, but we had a hot time that night.
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A
female
reader, confusedinkent  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Simple just tell him!, its a serious relationship right?, hes not gonna run a mile for goodness sake!. and im sure he knows why you avoid him at certain times of the month. I mean it is a bit silly to be all prudish with the man for goodness sake! your a full grown woman. If your not too much of a prude to have sex with him then surely you can just tell him your on your period?!.
Sorry im not being rude or anything, I just think its silly to be all shy about these things.
The best way to tell him is to say, " I cant, its my time of the month" bingo! sorted!.
And if its that much of an embarrasment, then why not get the single hormone pill?. you dont have a break and that means no period, yay!!!. but seriously just tell the man for goodness sake!.
good luck.
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): just raise your eyebrows alot and say darling i really cant tonight.. with emphasis on the words cant tonight looking downwards lol that usually works for me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): no offence or anything but you are an adult in your 30's!! grow up! im presuming that you guys have been together for a few months so please stop being so childish and be mature. he is a grown man also and he is not going to run a mile just because you are a natural woman. be honest with him, its a fact of life!!
simply tell him its that time of the month. im sorry but this is just so childish that your a grown woman and you cant even tell your boyfriend that your at that time of the month - i remember having that problem.....when i was about 15
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A
female
reader, GeorgiaGirl84 +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Lol my boyfriend and I have a code. I tell him "I'm riding the cotton pony" and he backs off. I usually don't have say anything though. I'm regular so he knows what time of month to leave me alone.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (1 July 2008):
 The traditional way to tell him is "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache."
But I suppose that was in the days before ladies discussed such matters, and men were supposed to be too ignorant of the workings of a woman's body to understand.
A woman once said to me "It's my holy days this week." Another referred to it as "the curse".
Why not simply tell him? I'd be very surprised if any man these days doesn't know about these things! And he might even be one of those considerate, caring, observant men who works out - once you've told him - that in around 28 days time if you're a little reluctant that's the reason, and then it won't be spell it out to him again. We're not all totally insensitive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Try putting on some old unattractive panties, put your hair in rollers, find a comfortable ugly nightdress and anything else that makes you feel comfortable but inappropriately dressed for intimacy and sex. Buy a box of chocolates to eat and keep grumbling about the aches and pains you have.
Get the biggest calandar you can find and mark out your cycle in big red letters saying it's "comfort time".
I know it sounds strange, but men do understand these things, it's just sometimes they can't see the signs. If you do these things every month he should get the idea and hopefully will treat you very kindly and rub your back and feet.
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (1 July 2008):
Men don't take hints - in fact, we rarely even recognize them. That's who we are. We won't pay attention to a receipt, if we even notice it. If you say it's "my time of the month", or even "I'm on my period.", he WILL get it and appreciate you being up front. He also may be just fine with making love, even if it is a bit messy. If so, you two might take a shower together, you going in first and then him joining you. If you have a heavy flow day, you might just want to put in a tampon or get a pad and panties, and the two of you can cuddle all night. You will both feel closer and better bonded. Relationship is about trust and vulnerability - do your best and hope you have a kind, considerate and loving mate. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (1 July 2008):
 Just be open and honest and say what probably most woman say, and thats simply, " not tonight its my time of the month ". If he respects and loves you he will understand and respect your decision.
All the best x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): You should just tell him. You can always be a little cheeky about it. Say something like, "Trust me, I really want you, but there is red ink in the typwriter right now." or something silly like that. He should get the idea.
With all due respect, how old are you two? My girlfriends have always been very forthcoming about their periods. It doesn't gross me out, its just a fact of life. Any man who can't handle that needs to mature a bit. I usually keep track of my girlfriends cycle so I know when to back off.
Truth be told, I've never been really bothered by the mess so we usually end up making love before the week is over anyway.
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A
female
reader, Bex37 +, writes (1 July 2008):
Grow up! You've tagged your age as between 30 and 35 so presumably this isn't your first boyfriend and he's somewhere around the same age. Being 'private' is no excuse for not being an adult. Simply say 'sorry it's that time of the month. Can I take a raincheck?' He won't be offended and he'll probably be relieved that you're not having sex with him for a good reason as opposed to just thinking you don't like him anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): ha ha , iv had that problem with a new partner, its very very arkward isnt it .
you could just leave somthing out , like a recipt showing you had just bought what you needed,
or just try casually saying,
womens problems, that dreaded monthly headache is here again , he may just pick up on it?
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